This! I've been asked so many personal questions in the past and when I didn't want to share I would just give a vague answer, deflect or completely change the subject. Although in parts of Scotland I was more likely to get someone's life story🤣

That's possible but it's an awkward situation for anyone to be in. I hope things work out for you and your bf

XT ymimolkoki! Vl, a, w

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OP making small talk is not the same as whatever story you heard about some lady at the salon getting badgered. Don’t conflate things

$1000 doesn’t go very far with car repairs, especially Land Rover repairs.

You’ve done nothing wrong besides waiting to tell him and telling him in a place where he could react irrationally. If you told him after that first realization and in private, he could have processed it by now. You and Ryan keeping it secret makes it seem like that was more meaningful than a one night stand.

But the fact you slept with someone before your boyfriend isn’t a FU, it’s totally normal. If that’s his hang up here he needs to grow up.

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This happened before you started dating your bf so how would you know they were related? I understand your bf getting upset but he has a past just like everyone else does.

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The words were "it is a boundary I set in my relationships". I wonder if it's the looking at other people or the masturbation part. Is it self conscious stuff abput worrying hes gonna compare women or possessive nonsense where she wants him to save himself for her?

Either way. Red flag.

First,

HES an Asshole for doing it despite agreeing ans Never bringing it up that he’s incompetent to hold on to what he agreed to.

Secondly,

YOU are the asshole for going through his phone. Next time ask.

Wow. You nailed the terrible person part.

This isn’t a “next team meeting” kind of thing. As far as I’m concerned, it would make a disgusting situation even worse both professionally and for your family’s sake if you failed to immediately remove yourself from that environment.

You cannot continue to interact with an affair partner (yes, I’m calling him that) on account of BOTH of those spheres of your life. Step down, get out of there, find a new job.

How to address this with your family is above my paygrade as far as I’m concerned, but the longer you continue to interact with that man, the worse handling this will become.

He AGREED?

No more talking. Accept that he is ok. Suggesting a meeting would only be for your sake and he might feel obligated because of you work relationship.

I fully understand your problem and fear of loosing the relation with her. I find myself in a very similiar situation. I have known my best friend through 20 years, we have not been best friends all 20 years, we started out as co-workers and through that we got a closer and closer friendship which also included our partners. Throughout the 20 years we have supported each other through almost every kind of problems, and thereby building a very strong friendship. A few years ago she broke up with her boyfriend, I supported her best possible with building a new home for her and her children. It meant the world to me, to be able to support and help her and I felt the strongest, honest and must relaible bond to any person, that I have ever felt. Approx. 18 months ago, I felt that she suddenly from one day to another, changed her behavior towards me, not a lot, but I felt it and it scared me very much and made me very afraid of loosing the special bond we had. Because the change was small, I didn't bring it up with her, because I was also uncertain, if it was just going on in my head. I thought a lot about the change and in some degree I guess it also changed my behavior towards her, because I got afraid of increasing the distance between us. We were still very supportive to each other with many things, but I felt a change, also by seeing her using other friends more and more instead of me. Through the past 18 months I have divorced my wife for completely other reasons, but through these 18 months my feelings towards my friend also got more romantic, probably in some degree driven by my fear of loosing her as my best friend. It have never been my intention to develop these feelings or to start a relationship with her, I have always considered it to be my problem, which I had to deal with. My friend has been through some health issues and got an operation 1.5 month ago from which she have a long recovery period. A couple of weeks after the operation, she went from being in daily contact with me to contacting me more rarely, maybe one or two times per week, I have of course tried to maintain the contract, but with little success. This is very very hard on me and I can't see how to get by. I have tried to figure out, what went wrong. In this proces I wrote her, what I felt 18 months ago, and how it made me scared of loosing her as my best friend. She tells me nothing is wrong, she just don't want my help so much anymore. But I fell something else must be wrong, but I don't know what it is. I blame myself a lot for this situation, and I think a lot about what I can do. For now my conclusion is, that I must try to give her peace and space and see what happens, but this is also very difficult, because giving up is not a thing I normally do. So for misspelling english is not my first language.

Damn I feel bad for him. As long as he isn’t cheating on you or talking to other women like that then how he decides to take care of himself when he’s alone should be his own private business and you violated that privacy. And tbh if you think watching porn is cheating then maybe you don’t need to be in a relationship.

Every now and then I'll find myself on reddit on my pc for some technical issue, and see all the spam in my reddit chat box.

And then forget about it for another 6 months.

When TIFU is sorta AITA

I know, but at the end of the day all she will or can do is yell. Plus if she kills me who will pay the deductible(s) lol. Okay that’s not funny and I understand how serious this could have been but it the fact that I can and will pay her deductible plus the other women’s if the insurance says I have to, I can. I have a $1000 emergency fund that I have put away over the years to buffer situations like this. I understand she’s going to be mad, I’d be upset too, but she has been in her fair share of accidents so I’m just praying she will understand that everyone is safe and uninjured and that’s really what matters

Why is it even forbidden wtf you're definitely the asshole here and you definitely fucked up for going through his phone without any permission. I honestly don't think you're in the right state of mind rn for a relationship because of your trust issues.

Early morning chuckle bc of you!

That's just sad

As an obsessive compulsive married lesbian, you were not out of line. BUT, I can see, from strictly my perspective, why she would react that way: it’s kind of threatening. And since it sounds like she was the femme of the two (not that all of us work this way), she has probably been approached by perverts in the past and this triggered a fight or flight response. It’s not your fault.