TLDR: you weren’t mean, you were ABUSIVE… holy shit, no wonder everyone left you. You are a disgusting excuse for a human and don’t deserve to be called a parent. I hope that your children are able to get away from you and cut you out of their lives for good…

Your lawyer will also tell you to stop posting about it online. At the risk of killing our own entertainment here, you should probably delete this thread.

A wet knotted towel?

What in Jesus?

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Dude, everyone's saying talk to a lawyer first. Talking to the cops first is compounding your mistakes. Especially since you've let a week lapse since the incident. Lawyer up.

How much did "Coco" charge, because she was definitely a brass

The strip club knows what they're doing. They have your signature and likely your finger print. Maybe even you on camera signing. If you dispute it they'll just say it was buyers remorse look at all the proof. This is a fairly common scam.

i was going to say, this isn’t the first time this has happened to somebody, nor the first time the authorities have dealt with it. good movie, sucks for it to be the plot of your life though.

And now I’m about to go look up Lemon Pound Cake.

We humans are masochists.

Possession?

A lawyer will tell you what to do and if you need to make a report to the police. Don't lie to the police. You're whole case rests on the fact that you were under the influence of illegal substances. If you were already drinking, you probably were already impaired to consent to taking drugs. I highly doubt you'll go to jail for doing illegal drugs in the past.

If this is going on in all the clubs there, the cops are paid off and you're dealing with organized crime. Aaaccckkk! Lawyer up but you're gonna pay him too!

Weigh it out but I would do least do a couple of consults and have more information before I decided on a plan.

Easiest option might be just telling the CC security people what you told us. IDK what they would do, but they aren't gonna have you arrested and they just might wipe it out.

Fron comedian/podcaster Adam Carolla, you measure from the tip of the penis once around the balls to the center of the butthole.

>Was it The Men's Club, The Lodge, Babydolls, Caligula, or The Clubhouse?

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Stay out of Dallas? What, is a hit man going to come after him?

Who runs this club? Mobster?

Lawyer up asap. Follow your lawyers instructions.

What is H.A.?

Lookie here, I'm no moralising do-gooder. You won't believe that in a minute, I know, but... honestly I'm not.

But, like, did you ever get the feeling the universe is telling you something about the choices you made here?

Dude, just a friendly tip. Perhaps just have a think about maybe *not* going to strip clubs. Or accepting invitations to take drugs. Or getting intoxicated to the point where you feel those are good decisions.

There is literally a major movie about this. OP really needs to be more careful.

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“A fool and his money are some party!”

• strippers

I think you're probably right. I didn't think about the discrepancy between the return and the w2. If she e-files, the return might get rejected from the get-go. Either way, none of it is OP's problem.

Last time I was at a strip club—and it’s been a while—the two guys in front of us got in for free by showing their police badges. In fact the only times I’ve gotten into strip clubs for free was because we were with cops.

I was wondering about that. I can't see the IRS auditing her, either. However if she were to take that 3500 bonus off her income wouldn't the IRS immediately flag the discrepancy between her W2 and what she reported as income. I mean, that has to be automated by now!

One time several years (when I still did my taxes completely by hand) ago I mistakenly flipped two digits when I adding my wife's and my W2 taxable income. Within about 1 month I got a notification from the IRS notifying me of the discrepancy along with a check for the additional refund that resulted from my error. I'm confident that the IRS would handle her return similarly.

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