Recent comments in /f/tifu

Burrtles t1_je0333s wrote

Reply to comment by [deleted] in TIFU by falling in love with a colleague by [deleted]

>I think he should take time for himself and have no contact with either of us to know what he really wants.

I think this is actually what you should do. Take a big step back and communicate that. I'd say it may feel like love but lust is extremely powerful as are hormones and other stuff. And even if it is love then you can still love him and not be with him. Have a break to be yourself by yourself. It's easy to become tangled up in other people's life paths and wants and then become convinced you want it and chose to be there. If it's meant to be then you'll feel the same after a long time apart and can analyse again then. But generally I'd say there's definitely a few red flags from him here and that means you need to cut emotional ties and step back for a bit so that you can view it clearly without the blurry love glasses on. It's your life and it's precious and fast, you can't imagine what the future holds. It's your life and you're worth more than someone's 2nd choice or 3rd wheel. It's your life and there will be more to it than this guy and this job. It's your life OP!

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ccs004 t1_je01mfo wrote

Reply to TIFU by drinking black tea by monkshood_bezoar

Caffeine diffuses out pretty fast, so leaving the bag in doesn't add much caffeine, but it does make the tea bitter. I love tea, but if it's over steeped I dump it and start over

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Ozmorty t1_je00zv8 wrote

Reply to comment by jj_8080x in TIFU by requesting medical records while broke by jj_8080x

I’d be standing firm and saying show me where the price was published and accepted by me before you provided the goods? Take a screenshot of the empty bill as it stands etc too.

They’re shit out of luck but you need an email trail to get them to acknowledge they screwed up so you cover yourself from them trying to get a debt collector onto you IF they issue an actual bill.

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duhvorced t1_je00fwa wrote

Reply to TIFU by falling in love with a colleague by [deleted]

>This all sounds super absurd and feels weird to write and I feel stupid for getting into such a situation,

This may be a little off-topic, but you might find it helpful to read up on how falling in love affects us at a neurological/biochemical level. Specifically, I've found Dr. Helen Fisher's work to be pretty interesting. She's got a bunch of stuff on the web, but here's a couple things to get you started:

  • The Nature of Romantic Love (PDF, 6 pages) - One of her earlier articles on the subject. It's very dry and scholarly, but it's short and captures the essence of her work.
  • Why People Fall In Love (YouTube) - A more recent and approachable presentation.

The tl;dr to all of this is that "falling in love" isn't just an emotion. It's a biochemical process that takes place in the most primitive levels of our brain. And it radically affects our ability to think clearly and reason. In short, love makes us crazy.

... and the effects of this - the hormones that flood our system when we fall in love - last for 1-3 years.

All of which is to say that your brain is probably playing tricks on you. It's causing you to fixate on the positive aspects of the relationship, while overlook the negative. But in 1-2 years, that effect is going to wear off (for both of you). So think carefully about what it is you want and how this does or doesn't meet your needs. Or, better still, think about what you wanted *prior* to this relationship - that's going to be where the real "truth" lies, and what's likely to matter most once the fog of new love lifts.

Good luck.

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jj_8080x OP t1_je00771 wrote

Reply to comment by Ozmorty in TIFU by requesting medical records while broke by jj_8080x

ugh :/

well, that's still good to know. I've looked over everything thoroughly and it mentions nothing about payments due, it's all so confusing. I'm really hoping that I'm overthinking it and that I don't have to pay anything but I think that's too optimistic

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