I had a episiotomy too! (Very likely because the love of my life anesthesiologist did “too good” of a job. Doc said push, I thought I was pushing when in fact I was not). Anyway, no farts, but 47 stitches for me.

Don't worry about it. We surgeons take it all in our stride. 😉

She's obviously the aunt in this scenario.

I’m sure it wasn’t the first time.

Ha!

Labor and delivery can be pretty dramatic. I watched the love of my life, my wife, fart directly in the surgeons face while she was sewing her up after the baby was delivered and she’d had an episiotomy. Like the doc was at best 4 inches away and gets a fart directly to the eyeball. Like, strong chance the doc has pink eye the next day.

And the worst part of it all is, my wife will never, ever let me tell this story.

I think reading that stuff as a kid did desensitize me to sexual content in fiction. But didn't affect me in real life circumstances. Same probably goes for the kid, heaps of books, shows and games feature death, doesn't mean he's suddenly going to turn violent, just means he'll get used to seeing that stuff in fiction.

Yeah, that was my first thought. Wait until OP tries to use that warranty!

I would have to ask them to anaesthetise me forever.

Seriously though, he probably took it as a huge compliment and I bet it made his day!

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Did the GF at least offer to try to take care of it?

Write your phone number on your body and hope he gets the hint.

While we’re at it - I’d like to talk to you about your cars extended warranty.

I wouldn't feel so bad. If it's a typical home warranty, it probably wouldn't have covered anything anyway. Those things are notorious for being ripoffs.

Smooth af

Lean into it and go for it.

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Now imagine if the genders were swapped how this would come off........creepy

First time I ever gave blood the red cross nurse lady was STUPID HOT. Like this gorgeous dark wavy hair, eyes you could get lost in, huge... "tracts of land" incredibly soft skin etc etc.

And I'm 18. So she goes to take my pulse and she's like right up on me and I'm doing the "think about math so you don't imagine ripping her scrubs off and just banging her silly right here on the folding table fuck it's not working holy shit she's hot" thing and she's like "your pulse is kinda high, are you ok?" And I'm 18 and being all "don't picture those full lips kissing you and doing other stuff. Oh fuck now that's all I can fucking think about" and croak out a "yeah?"

And fortunately her male coworker overhears and is like "hey let me try and take his pulse and immediately right back in the normal range.

That motherfucker knew

Perfect opportunity, man saw a chance and seized it

RIGHT before surgery, I told the entire medical team that I loved them and complimented everyone. I had been given stuff to relax me though

I’m sure you’re not the first. An attractive doctor? Probably gets sexually harassed multiple times a week by elderly women.

Was it Delagrammaticus? Lol

I know. Just feels like it and a triple bypass, congestive heart failure, COPD and oygen for the foreseeable future make me feel like. I'll get better, just going to take some work. It's my own fault. My mental health was such that I was trying to kill myself through lifestyle. I wanted to die of a massive heart attack. I know I should have talked to my psychiatrist about it so that's on me. So all those health issues, having everything hurts because I spent my career doing trade work, and the nurses being so young and I just felt really old. I lived a really bad lifestyle too. I did the surgery for my wife and kids, but it's given me a new lease on life. Don't know why I'm spilling my guts. Thanks for reading if you did.

I remember saying to mine (the second kid, where the damn thing actually worked): “I’m sure you get marriage proposals all the time. But could we just be friends? I feel like you’d be a great friend.”

Of course baby was sunny side up with a giant head, so a marriage proposal wasn’t out of the question but with my husband in the room I didn’t think he’d be down for my polygamy.