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Wow. Just wow! It's amazing that none of the people in your family stepped up and took responsibility for what they did. And worst of all was your mother. It was her job to protect you. She should accept responsibility for having failed that task. Instead, she blows you off and laughs at you?

I know you would love to have some justice, OP. I know you would love to have some of these people say -- on the record -- "You're right, OP. And I was complicit in the shitty things that happened to you." But that's never going to happen.Even if they did, all you'd get out of it would be one moment in which you could shout out loud, "YES! I was RIGHT!!!" ...and then what?

None of these people are worthy of you. The sanest, most empowering thing you can do would be to let these people go. Let the past go. Stop replaying old scenarios over and over again in your head. Stop creating dialogues in your mind where one or more of them confess to their sins against you and apologize, or where you accuse them and they accept their blame. None of these thoughts does you any good! Yes, it was valuable to have dredged them all up so you could look at and accept your horrible childhood reality-- but they've served that function already. It is time to move on into a life unencumbered by the horrors of the past, and unencumbered by any of these awful people.

Never give them another thought! Let them go! Find new people!

I can't tell you how liberating it was for me to finally let go of my father. Ever time I saw him after, I didn't even have any anger left. Just ...nothing. So, I'd be polite. Why stir up any drama? I no longer needed anything from him! He died without ever knowing that he had ceased to exist for me years before. I was free of the guy. Free!!!

And that's what I wish for you, OP. That you be free!

What the fuck is happening here

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Please see a counselor. While it's good the steps you've taken on your own having a third party professionally trained to help you is immeasurably invaluable in dealing with trauma and abuse.

OP, I don't have anything useful to offer. I'm just really sorry you were dealt such a shitty hand. I hope you find what you need to be as whole as you can.

You need a real therapist.

I don't get it. I just want my kids to be happy. I have one daughter who's mental illnesses clash bad with my mental illness. I have got abusive 3 times. So I've just came to the fact that I can't parent her. I'd rather she have cake and ice cream for breakfast than ever hurt her again.

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When she's old and wants you to take care of her, tell her to keep to herself.

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Was mentally abused my whole childhood by my alcoholic mother and listening to that audio really brought me back to it. I empathise dearly for you and the best thing you can do for yourself is to get far away from these people.

I feel your anger and grief through your words and as much as I did the same thing, it isn’t constructive. Ignorance is a major human flaw and seems like your mother has many flaws. But speaking to her the way you do is causing nobody harm besides yourself. You cannot reason with people like this as hard as it sounds. Sure they are your blood but family isn’t meant to be self centred. You’ll find your family hun and the best part is, you’ll know the second you meet them. It’s not blood that binds human beings it’s emotion- love, compassion,etc.

Get far away from that hell of an environment and look after yourself. You may have not had anybody there for you when you were young but you’ve got yourself, and it may not feel like much but at least you know who you are and you know who your mum is and I’m sure you’ve vowed to never be like those people. As much as this torture and abuse shouldn’t have happened, you’ll be a better person from it. You just need to get away from them

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Hello commentor! In order to encourage our users to participate constructively we have added a tiered system for participation!

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Lots going on in this post

I feel you, had norovirus and the symptoms are similar.. horrible when you have nonstop vomiting

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