Her mom is still alive, right?

i'm so stupid i thought you were with the mom

You apologized for causing her harm instead of apologizing for being a complete ass? Saying you need a filter sounds like you're trying to give an excuse and push some of the blame by subcontext (i.e. "you know I have no filter some days. I didn't intend to hurt you with my words which were clearly said in poor taste, but you know I'm like that, so I don't know what you're expecting.")

A proper apology comes in several steps:

• Acknowledge what you said was wrong.

• Take full responsibility for your actions.

• Explain that you understand that what you said was absolutely hurtful and was completely out of line.

So a proper apology would look like this: Hello (name). I wanted to sincerely apologize for calling your mother names like that the other day. It was completely out of line for me to make those comments and I understand now how hurtful my words were. I know sometimes I can be completely thoughtless when I talk and I am trying to be better about that. I can only hope that you can forgive my thoughtless actions and we can continue to be friends.

I get the feeling that this is part of a long pattern of behavior on your part, OP, and this is far from the first hurtful thing you've said to someone. If you ever intend on keeping friends long term, you need to figure out how to make some serious changes in the thoughtless and hurtful things you say to, and about, others.

>> I understand that from her perspective, it is my fault, but from my perspective, it’s all misunderstanding. > >So here’s the thing about jokes. It’s 100% the responsibility of the joke teller to ensure that it’s funny to every joke hearer.

Lol no it isn't. That's ridiculous. That's how comedians get cancelled just because one person in the audience was offended.

Apologize sincerely and tell her you really value her friendship.

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I did write a genuine apology. I said that I am someone who needs a filter on some days because I wouldnt be thinking straight, and apologized for causing her harm. I asked for forgiveness, and that is when she left me on read.

Did you just vsay "I'm sorry"? Or did you write an actual apology that was genuine, showed true contrition, and that you realized what you said was completely off base?

Did someone throw a balled up piece of paper at the back of your head prior to you calling your friends mom a hoe?

I did apologize, she left me on read.

An exclamation of "your mom is a hoe" isn't a your momma joke.

Example:

"your mom is a fat piece of shit"

-vs-

"your momma is so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing"

Honest question: how is saying "your mom's a hoe" out of the blue, a "joke"?

Calm down, it was absolutely nothing. It would be unfortunate if something had happened or is going on with her mum but you can’t know everything. Simple earnest apology will do.

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Did OP think to apologize?

That's highschool!

"I'm really sorry I said that. It was a stupid thing to say, and I didn't mean it."

Try that out, with utter sincerity. Do not add any "but I thought it was funny." "People do it on tiktok all the time." If she asks if you know why it hurt her, let's make an assumption. "Because it's a nasty thing to say. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."

It’s not a misunderstanding. What you said was rude, inconsiderate of your friend, and vulgar. You should apologize to her and give her space. She may not want to communicate with you again. Accept that. You were wrong and should not make that mistake with others in the future.

Did you apologize, or did you just explain why you copied the jokes you saw on tiktok? Because if you just explained, she might feel like you were telling her why she was wrong for being upset.

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Give her some time, then apologise again. Explain about the jokes on tiktok (they were also around when I was at school and I am nearly 50).

Ask if there is anything you can do and that you really didn't mean to upset her, that if she needs to talk you will listen.

I made a Your Mum joke once and my friend kicked me out of her car and told me to walk home. Her Mother died when she was very young.

It took me a long time to learn to say sorry when I didn't feel it was my fault. But learning to do that will save a lot of friendships. You have to do it and do it genuinely and don't put any blame on her for her reaction.

"Hey, I am sorry I made a bad joke about your mother, I should of checked if that was something you were okay with before doing it, I still want to be friends and I hope you don't hold one bad joke against me"

It's probably because her mom is indeed a hoe. Just try to stay cool with your friend, maybe try to just talk with her and try to get her respond why was her reaction like this, explain your whole situation.

Send her the “you’re mom’s a hoe” vine

Some people just don’t mess around concerning gardening tools.