Recent comments in /f/tifu

Xais56 t1_ir0rrci wrote

>MTV's yo momma came out in 06 so not sure what you mean by 97

Do you think these jokes were invented in 2006?

"Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done?
Aaron: That which thou canst not undo.
Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother.
Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother."

That one's from Titus Andronicus, written sometime in the late 16th century.

There's evidence on ones from 3500 BC carved into ancient tablets, but language and culture has evolved too much to be able to get the joke easily. All we know is that the joke involves someones mother, and sex.

8

Xais56 t1_ir0qk58 wrote

>"Being right" and being right isn't always the same thing.

Just because one is correct does not mean one is right.

It is correct to say that a significantly reduced human population would be good for the planet. It is not right to say we should nuke Asia.

20

narvuntien t1_ir0qfju wrote

Let go of your ego.
You are actually at least a little responsible for how people interpret what you say even if you didn't mean it the way they interpret it. You are actually sorry that they misinterpreted you and now have such a negative attitude towards you. But unless you take some responsibility for that misinterpretation it won't be genuine.

"Hey I made a mistake here, what can I do not to make it again?"

But getting misinterepted sends my anxiety skyrocketing, I am always being accidently rude on things like phone calls and emails and to cashiers. things have been a lot better since I got medication for it.

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4_Legged_Duck t1_ir0pc3t wrote

When it's "not your fault" apologizing hurts your pride. Apologizing when you don't feel at fault can feel like a lie, but part of what you're doing is humbling yourself before that person, saying that you choose them more than your pride. Non-english speaking cultures have this baked into their linguistics. Japanese comes to mind.

A lot of these AITA posts could get solved when the OP of the post just apologizes to their partner/friend/family regardless of who is at fault. You may be right, you may die on your righteous hill, but you're going to lose that connection no matter how right you are.

"Being right" and being right isn't always the same thing. Sometimes it's better to say "I'm sorry, you're right," and choose their feelings over your own.

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asm001 t1_ir0p3sf wrote

Apologise in person, none of this text crap. If you are sincere it will be fine. If she just thinks you're a dickhead, then there's more wrong with your friendship than you think, and this was a trigger point.

Own it and then let it go.

3

4_Legged_Duck t1_ir0p0yz wrote

I'm going to push back. I don't think what this user is saying is empathy.

Empathy is, sure, when you can see something from someone else's point of view, understand their experience, etc. Absolutely.

That is not what this user is saying. Regardless of how the other person feels, apologizing can be a way to save a connection. Regardless of why they're hurt, if you see it from their point of view or not.

It's about setting aside your ego and pride and choosing the other person. It's humility.

6

StormBerry17 t1_ir0ob56 wrote

How is it not your fault when you make a joke that offends your friend? You said a joke that many people find offensive without seeing if it was okay. If you’re not close enough with someone to know that their mom died, you’re not close enough to make jokes like that. It sounds more like an acquaintanceship at that point. You are responsible for the things you say. This “it’s not my fault you were offended” applies to audiences of comedians who don’t have personal relationships with them, not friends telling offensive jokes. I’m glad you apologized but it doesn’t seem sincere when you’re thinking you’re not at fault.

11

TheShawnWray t1_ir0nmse wrote

That's not how "your mom" jokes work, for one thing. But you apologized and she'll either forgive you or she won't. The fact that you can't concentrate or sleep is not her fault. She has no obligation to do more than she has. But you're probably going to have to give it a few days.

0

orchidlake t1_ir0nj1q wrote

Depends on people and context and ppl can have lapses of judgement and be stupid. I called my husband a "son of a bitch" before while we were laughing (he was probably teasing me). In front of his mom. She seemed amused by it even though it dawned on me almost immediately. No harm done though in this case. OP did say he does jokes like that with ppl he's comfortable with, friend clearly isn't seeing eye to eye there. I call my best friend a bitch all the time (she does the same) and we laugh about it, every person has their limit and boundaries and those weren't established between OP & his friend

2

hephaistos070 t1_ir0ktfi wrote

Try jokes that don't involve putting people down. They are funnier and you get to keep your friends, win-win! In the mean while: apologize to your friend. That means saying 'sorry. It wasn't funny. I didn't mean it. ' you said you told her it was meant 'neutral'? That's not a real apology. Try again. I hope it helps.

6

[deleted] t1_ir0kf06 wrote

Yo momma jokes usually have a build up including some hyperbolic reference to looks or lifestyle based issues. Your mom jokes are usually topical, like an Uno Reverse card where someone says something but you say "your mom's a something" and the connection is so direct there's no question what the reference was.

Sounds like you just called her mom a hoe.

4

Alternative-Way-269 t1_ir0idwu wrote

Idk, man. My mom died and I don't understand 'your mom' jokes at all. I actually become very irritated if people mention their own mums let alone if they joke about my mom or moms in general. You never know how sensitive someone can be with their parents or what experiences they may have. You might have hit a weak spot.

I'd suggest that you give her a bit of time, apologize again and express how much you want to be friends and promise you'll never act like that again. But really do so if she forgives you.

0