Is her mom maybe actually, a hoe?

I was about to come at you for not apologize until I saw the edit. There’s nothing you can do at this point. Give her space

Make up for calling your friend’s mom a hoe by pleasuring her a hole

> Jesus

No that didn’t work, even with prayer. Reread u/DisposableSaviour ‘s comment

You know, i just realized who this person is for me. My aunt/godmother. She is the sweetest woman with the patience of a saint, nursed both my grandparents (her in-laws) on their deathbeds in her own home even though they had five other children...She's definitely not perfect, but any time my mom criticizes her, i get really defensive because this woman has literally given everything she has to everyone without a second thought.

It probably hit her different because her mom exhibits ho like qualities.

I don’t think he meant it in a negative manner but you have to understand that it most certainly came off as rude and inappropriate, there is absolutely no reason you should not apologize. Heck I wouldn’t even necessarily apologize to the friend but the actual mom, no matter what the context is you don’t go around calling someone a hoe, especially if you don’t know the person. Also even it being a joke is still somewhat disingenuous like if I say, “oh your mom is a hoe” in front of both of them and then say some bs like, “it’s a joke” it still doesn’t make up for anything, apologize simple as that. Again it even seems like his friend didn’t react very well to the situation, another reason to apologize as they clearly didn’t like the joke. Like if my friend called my mom a hoe in front me and my mom I would feel uncomfortable as well.

Jesus

Ye I’m not adopted but my mom is legitimately the best human being I know or could imagine

I honestly would not be surprised if, in the afterlife, it was disclosed that she was Jesus or something like she’s what I strive to be as a human and I know I’ll never attain it.

I definitely put her on a pedestal but imo she deserves it

It’s fucked me for dating tho my standards in women are unrealistic. Not talking about looks at all.

Maybe her mom really is a hoe and you’ve discovered their dirty little secret.

See, and I was only conservatively going back as far as the 1930s. You went and dug up some 1600s insults.

I love it!

Give her some time, girls are very emotional. The same stuff happened with my friend..worst part is she blocked him and made a massive thing out of it by blabbering in the school. Try showing that you really do feel sorry, if the friendship is worth saving try

What is this I'm reading????

People have been playing The Dozens with Yo Mama jokes since the 1930s.

Naopleon Dynamite? Young people.

Yeah... I feel like OP wasn't playing The Dozens quite right.

(BTW, that's a good one.)

“I’m sorry I hurt you” is an apology, actually. It’s acknowledging you caused harm, taking responsibility, and expressing remorse.

“I’m sorry you got hurt” is a completely different statement, and not an apology.

You using them interchangeable here is deeply disingenuous and eyeroll-worthy.

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Yeah, i love my mom, but our relationship is complicated, so I can't relate personally. My fiance was adopted as a toddler, so I think he feels he owes his mom a lot for choosing him and advocating for him when he had a lot of behavioral issues as a kid. I can understand that.

They said roughly 'in sorry I hurt you". That's not an apology, that's an appeasement. They didn't take ownership of it, instead deflecting it to "i have no filter".

As stated in my previous post, there are steps to making an apology. You own up to your mistake, which op didn't. They shrugged their shoulders, said, 'that's how I am" and "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt".

Thank you so much! We've only been together about six years, but we were long distance for most of the first half and that really forced us to grow as a couple.

They did apologize.

“I’m sorry for what I said; I didn’t realize it would be hurtful to you, but recognize and regret that it was and won’t do it again” is a full and complete apology. They don’t need to say they were “completely out of line” because they weren’t. At all. So why would there be any reason for OP to villainize themself?

They did something that caused injury to a friend. You own up to it and apologize. You have no idea why she's acting like that. For all we know, her mother may have been unfaithful to her partner. Or maybe mom is sick. Or there's abuse. None of which she's required to tell anybody. So, if you say something that causes pain, apologize for it.

Also, that's not groveling. That's simply giving a full and complete apology.

I would pop round and apologise to them both in person, explain the origin of the joke, but state clearly this is not an excuse you you made the joke in poor taste. Then ask your friend if its all good.

Finally don't be such a muppet again....

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I think you should let your friend know how much it’s bothering you, that it’s affecting your studies and sleep. I think once she sees that you’re struggling with the situation, she’ll she that your comment wasn’t genuine and was intended as a joke. I think you should apologies again and stress that it wasn’t meant to be serious or hurtful and that you’re sorry you hurt her. But in the future, refrain from making similar jokes as it obviously doesn’t sit well with her.

Clearly you've gotta bang her mamma now to prove your point, only way I see out of this.