Can I hire you to do this at a Birthday?

[deleted]

[removed]

Did this come from a cooter or a pee pee?

I would say we can play "Never Have I Ever" but OP would "win" which is the last thing they need.

What kind of a sick individual does this shit to someone they supposedly "love"??

You're a disgusting bastard. I hope your "husband" finds someone way better than your manipulative ass.

What is it with dudes pissing in random places when blackout drunk? I have two friends with this problem and they're half brothers. I was roommates with both of them at one time or another.

The younger one woke up one night and decided to take a piss down the stairs. I was still awake and all the sudden heard a tinkling on the other side of the wall. I was going to go out and yell at him, but ended up deciding against it. He didn't know where he was so he took a step forward and promptly fell down the stairs. He was ok but bruised up pretty bad, I figured that was punishment enough.

The older one, in a different apartment, twice tried to piss all over my entertainment center while blackout drunk. The first time no one was awake to stop him. I got a call at work the next morning: "Hey, your PS3 won't turn on and it's got a flashing yellow (I think?) light. We're literally draining water out of it into the sink." Oddly enough the PS3 survived and I used it for several years after that (still have it tucked away in a box somewhere). The second time, he had passed out early. All the sudden he stands up and walks straight to the entertainment center and starts making the motions. We all yell at him, turn him around, and escort him to the bathroom.

I feel like the older one had an excuse, he was deployed in Afghanistan for some time, so I can understand getting into a habit of waking up and pissing wherever in the desert. But the younger one idolized his brother so much I think he started taking on some of his worse traits, this one being the worst.

American moment

Holy shit you are an absolutely terrible human being.

i don't think he was getting back at you, probably just very stressed :) it probably felt like a safe place for him

That must've hurt so bad. The tips of your fingers are one of the most nerve packed parts of your body.

Yeah I have a similar story...

This happened right after me and my wife moved into a new apartment. Our dog's bed is at the foot of our bed. Apparently I woke up in the middle of the night and just started peeing on the little guy. My wife said she woke up because he started going crazy trying to make me stop. She asked me what I was doing and I just replied "We always do this," as if it was normal. She knew something was up so she asked me what my middle name was and I said "Thomas (true)...Or Montana." Montana was where I was born.

At this point she's freaking out at the whole situation and starts taking the sheets off our bed since my pee had gotten all over the bottom of them as well. She tells me to go let our dog outside because he's still freaking out so I do. We go back in and I just laid down in the bed and went back to sleep. I woke up 20 minutes or so later after she had given him a quick bath and thrown everything in the laundry. I remember asking her why she was doing laundry in the middle of the night and she told me everything.

The funniest part of the story is that the next day, we both left for a while and when we had gotten home, our dog had peed on my pillow. Never in his life had he done that and he's never done it since. I can't help but feel like he was getting back at me...

I've had several other incidents but after looking it up, it seems like there's several things that cause it. Genetics, new places, drinking, and stress are some of them. My dad has had a history of sleepwalking his entire life. As I mentioned, we had just moved to a new apartment. We had had some wine to end the night after a long night of unpacking. And our cat had found the tiniest hole next to the dishwasher and had been lost the entire day which caused us both a lot of stress looking for her. It was the perfect storm.

Shit doesn't smell like roses.
When your body tells you it's time, it's time.
Noone expects you to take a shit and leave no smell when you're done.
Just do your business and leave, like everyone else.

When you said your brain entered the witness protection program, i was expecting a secret agent story, but this is funny too. Poor girlfriend. Curly hair is tough to clean/maintain and i bet that bed never recovered.

In other words, drunk him was trying to find the bathroom, but made one instead. At least he didn't do worse.

dominance asserted, good job

Grandpa, is that you?

Thanks for the laugh tonight!

Sounds like you had some blood in your alcohol stream.

"From a legal perspective" what law states that spanking is abuse? Hitting and spanking your kids are two very different things and I think you have them mixed up here. Hitting would be with a closed fist or blunt object and striking your kid anywhereon their body. Spanking is when you take your hand or a non solid object and strike your kid on their ass. For example, my aunt would hit her kids with a wooden spoon. That was abuse.

I mean from a legal perspective, spanking is abuse. I don’t know if that’s what affects the kid the most mentally and trauma wise because well, I’m not in their brain, the parents probably verbally abuse their children too if I had to make an assumption, but the spanking is the only abuse that is described in this story so it’s the only thing I have to point out.

Okay, I so agree that OPs parents treat her badly because no kid who is treated well would ever describe their parent as scary but I don't think it's the spanking that makes them abusive. A majority of people spank their kids, including my own parents, but that doesn't mean its abusive. I don't think spanking is effective but I also don't think it's abuse or assault

I can’t control it, but clearly it doesn’t work as they have done it many times it sounds like from what OP said and it didn’t change behavior, and I can say they are abusive, they are. Hitting your children is abuse, it’s not a “parenting style” it’s abuse, not everyone has to do it the way I do it, but they don’t gotta be abusive.

I agree that the lecturing part was enough, but, again, thats the way they chose to punish their daughter, my opinion doesnt matter. People parent in different ways, if spanking works for them, it works. You can't control the way people parent and can't say they're abusive if they don't do it that way you do it.

Beating kids doesn’t work and never will be a good way to discipline because of one key thing: REASON. As a parent you want the reason for a kid to be a good person to be a valid one that will always be valid, not “oh I’m not gonna steal from this gas station because my mom might beat me!” But rather “oh I’m not gonna steal from this gas station because my parent used logic and reason to explain to me why I shouldn’t and I formed my own opinion off of that make the choice I think is right because of that” it ain’t that hard parents, just be a good person