I qualified as an independent ONLY because my grandma pursued legal guardianship through the court and I was living with her. The school I went to needed proof of this.

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67k is too expensive for undergrad, imo even for Ivy League.

I think the “friend” who created the rumor is not really a friend; it would be very reasonable for this purported friend to confess to the young woman what really happened. If you decide to keep this friend around if he is unwilling to apologize, you’re essentially saying that you find his behavior acceptable, so don’t be surprised at a repeat offense.

As for the young woman, I’d give her plenty of distance for now. Maybe at a later date, you could offer a goodwill gesture, like a card with a sincere note (as you’ve learned, words matter).

Edit: If you were to give her a card, it would be an opportunity to put the truth into writing, explaining how the rumor got started and possibly why. No need to write a novel. Just keep it simple and sweet, like “I told my stupid friend I thought you were cute” or “I told my former friend that I thought you were cute” (if the dimwit is truly gone, as that would speak to your character). No references to potential relationship, love or sex is a necessity, because you’ll scare her off or creep her out. Also, don’t bother to tell her how nice you are; this is best demonstrated via behavior. I think focusing on slowly building a friendship first is likely the only way you’ll regain any trust.

Btw if you decide to do any kind gesture for the young woman but she sees you still hanging out with the twit, it’s pointless (unless he has explained and apologized profusely to the young woman and she has accepted).

How about you just move to a country with free education. Its not worth it to be 500k in debt for studies

Your response was great until you got to the very end. Disappointing for you to dump on her when it was potentially her reputation that was being trashed. Some women don’t care about their sex lives being broadcast to others (legit or not), and other women do care, especially since there are still double standards about women and sex.

Bro fr though big sister who are controlling and manipulative are THE WORST

This so much.

Best of luck @OP.

THIS^^^ often times public is soooooo much better long term, everything this comment said is true and if I had an award I would give it to you kind internet stranger.

I am gonna talk to the admissions counselor and ask about financial aid without the fasfa. I really want to go there and they made an exception for me. But I can’t spend my entire life in debt so I might just have to explain the situation

It may be a private school and the 67k likely includes housing and food plan.

Talk to the financial aid counselor. Students go through this all the time. One girl where I work now went through it last year. They were able to get the information she needed. On a side note, most people keep a file of their tax records somewhere, and usually just filed away in a box or on a random file on the computer. You really only need tax information and ssn's ( which are usually on the tax forms.) They have no right to do this to you.

Glad you dug up some numbers. It probably includes the dorm and fees associated with living on campus. Either way… my graduate (masters) degree costs about 45,000 a year and I live off of loans at approximately 12,000 a year. Still less than the undergraduate degree. Better question what is the expected income of students graduating from there? Are there enough financial aid options to make it worth it?

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Most people won't qualify for this.

I've seen a lot of bad parents in my life, but this really takes the cake.

Go to the admissions office tell them they don’t want you to go to college and cry. Cry your heart out and fight for your future.

Okay so I just googled and according to the internet, Columbia has the highest tuition in the United States at 65,000 per year and change. Harvey Mudd college has the highest overall cost of $77,000? I'm assuming that adds in room and board or something? Books?

Either way, I don't think op is talking about the cost of tuition alone...

It is mind blowing. It’s all about prestige. No thanks. unless you has strong ties with potential employers paying tons of money, or are going to the school tuition free it is not worth it.

They don’t really want me to go to college

I think move on is the best thing to do, but it’s painful and I think will be very awkward between us for a while

What type of undergrad School charges 67k tuition? That is a mind-blowing number to me

The person who started the rumor is not a friend. You have two choices really. how much do you like this young lady?

Step ONE would be to go to this so called friend and tell them they have only one choice and that is to go to her and admit they started the rumor and take full responsibility. IF they do not then you need to make them. Sorry I would say more, but I just got off a 3 day ban for supposedly saying something violent. LOL

Step TWO is to realize sometimes life sucks and you move on. If she truly does not believe you or can forgive you than she is not worth the time or trouble to even, try. Could you imagine being in a relationship with her? She may be some kind of crazy jealous type or worse.

And if they don't then you've lost two friends, one of which you're better off without.