I would wait a week or 2 and reach out again. Distance from the sting of the comment may help it along.

Sounds like he took the first jab, if you live in a glass house you shouldn’t throw stones. I would remind him of that and apologize on top of it, then let that be that and maybe he just wants time to process the situation, and whatever happens, it is what it is.

How old? I dont think it was any big of deal, but you werent rude and you apologised showed your remorse on the spot, there is nothing wrong with you, you are completely normal

Mention how they want you to care for family members unpaid.

Except she didn't reject him, and he really didn't try to ruin her character. I'm not saying he shouldn't have done more, I'm saying the best he can do is give her space and time to process her own feelings, and then be blatantly, painfully honest, and get his other "friend" out of his life. There's nothing else to be done.

It's not gaslighting or manipulative to ask someone to reason out their emotional state when you're trying to apologize and have an honest conversation.

best idea is to just send them to the group chat yourself. Also say you are a minor so that he is now committing a crime and has to delete the pictures.

Because spreading rumors like “I had sex with this person“ is what some people do when they are rejected, when they want to look cool, when they don’t want to look like a prude, and saying “it’s on you to explain how this would benefit me“ is something gas lighters and manipulative people do to others.

If the dudes getting matches he'll be alright. The thing that really damages a dudes self esteem is going weeks or months getting no one

I didn’t mean I was gonna stop telling people it’s not true, I meant it was up to her now if she wants me in her life anymore…

No. You did not, and the ball is not in her court. Your ball, which you allowed someone to take and beat her with, is not in her court. You need to start walking around and saying “She did not have sex with me. What’s his name just said that because he thought it was funny. She did not have sex with me.”

Damn, you said it. This is good advice OP

I feel like NYU's costs are pretty up there (along with other NYC schools), I remember my friend got into the Tisch art school like 10 years ago and even then it was like $80k/yr (i think including room and board etc.)

You need to get together with her and the "friend" (with friends like that who need enemies - lol) and have him explain exactly why he started that rumor (he'll probably say to make you look good). This is a common occurrence. I remember a classmate freshman year of college that I took into my room (my roommate and another guy kept pestering me for a full "after action de-brief"). Unfortunately, I "broke" and told them how far I got (not all the way). They at least had the decency to not start a rumor about it, but my roommate referred to a "blow job" as "At least you let her do the dirty work" which seemed kind of disgusting to me at the time. I just chocked it up to his inexperience or lack of success with women. I don't talk about women like that and I sure don't pester friends to find out how far they got with a woman.

Ahh. The silliness of youth.

As others have said, the guy who spread the rumour isn't a real friend.

Honestly though, you're only 19 years old. Everyone does dumb shit at that age, TBH most people have probably done something way dumber than this. It's part of growing up and learning from these fuckups is what makes you a better man in the end. Don't beat yourself up too much.

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That’s pretty relevant to your situation here. I work in mental health, and I’m sure you’re likely already aware of this but- this sort of thing is very common with BPD, and is actually on the tamer end of what partners of pwBPD tend to go through.

It’s clear you really care about him so I won’t start with any “run for the hills” stuff, but I recommend seeking resources for people in your position. There’s a subbreddit for partners of pwBPD I’ve heard is helpful. Best of luck to you both.

This is exactly how my parents fucked me over around 24 years ago. The difference is I had always dreamed of higher education, and had been talking about college since elementary school. They knew I wanted to go, and did not care. I never even asked for money or help with a loan, only their information. They refused. When I asked why, they would either give me the silent treatment or tell me that we weren’t poor, and they wouldn’t let me accept a handout. Like I could pay for college with the few grand I had saved from working.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m still really bitter. Getting well paying jobs has been a struggle, and I always got passed over on promotions for a college educated person. I often wonder how my life could have been if I’d only had that opportunity.

I hope things work out for you and you’re able to get the education you want.

First, you clearly care a lot about your boyfriend’s happiness and emotional security, and I think that’s awesome. I’m sure the hurt for him is real, regardless of whether it’s rational.

That said, this is a pretty common thing for couples to comment on. I don’t think you missed any social cues due to ASD in this instance, most people wouldn’t think this is a big transgression, if a transgression at all. It’s one thing to say you think someone you actually know is hot, that could justifiably lead to some insecurity. Talking about celebrity crushes just isn’t the same. My wife and I are totally monogamous, but it doesn’t bother me hearing her drool over Henry Cavill, and she doesn’t mind me drooling over Christina Ricci. It’s just silly crush stuff, not real.

I hope he can get some help with this and work through it.

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this is the way.

You're quite the dumbass, lol.

Teenage problems you'll laugh at when you're 30.

I really don't understand how the rumor that someone slept with someone else could "over the months get out of control".

Do you all really have nothing better to do? Why is anyone still talking about this months later?

I feel like everyone involved has a lot of growing up to do.

It look like a pretty simple skin tag. Your doctor may want to treat it or remove it. Not a lot to get worried about.