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Well, that is a narcissist mom you have, i do not know how to help since i am in a similar situation and i do not what to know either, just wait until you're 18 and move out ASAP

Nah kids these days don't make it official until they make a tiktok prank account

moans

You’re a freak, I really hope you don’t have kids. Fucking hell.

This just seriously made my day

Nothing wrong with announcing all over Poland how much you enjoy eating vagina, bro!🤘😂🤘😂🤘😂 Let it be known you savage American!🤣🤣

On that note be very careful with water pressure. I split my clit with the water pressure as a teen and it didn't heal back together, and now I'm incredibly sensitive from it. The glands come out. I wish I had known that was possible.

Go back out there and give her that Big Macalacky

Rizz?

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Off topic - are two russian rockets hitting Poland today true ? Do you know anything more ?

Not going to lie, I’d probably find it cheesy as well but you never know unless you try. At the very least it may loosen him up and get them both talking. I will always remember this one guy who came chatting me up on 20th birthday (31 next week so a while ago). He came with those really bad cheesy chat up lines (like “if I could change the alphabet I’d put I and U together”). He kept going with as many as he could remember, laughing through them (making me laugh as well), in a charming way that somehow worked. Cheesy as but it got me laughing, got us talking and made him memorable.

I feel for you, I too have been banned from using crazy glue. It doesn't seem to matter how careful I am, something bad always happens and once again all my fingers are glued together or glued to the countertop, etc. That stuff really is crazy. Never got it in my eyes though...

Pole here. Hilarious story. TBF I've never heard anyone say JC in Poland before I left (cause sexuality is a sin acc. to the church and women deserve no pleasure blah blah attitude) but way to go! All we need to do is to start calling cats CIPKI and we will get there. Pet a kitty and try.

oh that must be colloquial to the region you were in, I thought the word Tinga originated in Mexico due to the dish being created there, I've heard it used in Spain to describe something vulgar but never heard it as slang for dick.

Doubt it because it just doesn't translate well... I don't think "eat" is the right word to use, lick would work. personally I hate it when people try to swear in polish

It wouldn’t necessarily make me laugh either but some people would find it funny. Not trying to speak for all women but I feel majority would agree with me, that humour is important.

Bert Kreischer (I always mangle the spelling of his surname but google will be a bro and help you out) does a bit about the Russian mob that is strikingly similar, watch the full "I am the machine" show, there's a story that will resonate with you!

Haha no actually, we were eating Tinga. And when we told our friend that he said that's dick.

no one should be expected to maintain their cool 100% of the time. if losing your cool is an appropriate emotional response to the situation, as it seems to be in this case, then it is not a fuck up.

Oof, this brings back a memory. In college I was volunteering with a family who really only spoke my second language, which I was still learning at the time. One day, I was helping the kids with their homework, and their mom had friends over- they kept saying one phrase kinda frequently and laughing, so my idiot ass thought it was a joke! (I had a co volunteer with me too, so she’s also culpable in this.)

Next morning, we walk into class and our professor was looking like his usual jovial self so I told him this “joke,” and his face, just, fell. We weren’t suppose to speak in English in this class, but he switched to it specifically to tell me to never say it again.

Guys. I had called my wonderful, kind, gentle (literally my favorite) professor some kind of a little bitch. This was in Arabic, and swears hit way different in Arabic. When I finally got around to asking the TA about it, I was absolutely mortified.

I don't think that's down to south american slang, I assume you were having chicken and said "polla" rather than "pollo", easily done, I've asked for a dick burrito in a mexican restaurant by accident before luckily the waiter found it hilarious.

Stuff like this is always different. In Czech goats are also tits. In English I suppose it's a bird as well.

I've seen a T-shirt with the text "La vie, c'est une plage". That also only works if you're bilingual.