be soo fr right now

it was the top of the stairs in my college.

I ate steak and kettle chips 3 days after my surgery. I blew out nearly all my stitches. I was also out of my prescription that day. Don’t take hydros and drink liquor people. I was miserable for the rest of the week. I loved the pills too much.

Bless

My law of Mozzarella Stick Theorem: There is no correct number of mozzarella sticks; only too few or too many.

“I’m 20 and I get a pap every 6-7 months” 😂😂 Wtf is going on with your insides that you would be needing that before the age other women get their first. This slobbering neckbeard fantasy is embarrassing.

Atleast she didn't accidentally chomp your member off

Even if this were true the doctor would not say “ I’ll still use some lube”. If he did report the fuck out of him

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The last thing you want to do is talk to a worker about sex. They are not therapists, they are there to sell a service. Its like asking a used car dealer about the best used car. Sure they may say some true things but only the truths that help make a sale.

Also their perspective will be twisted from that of a living relationship. A lot of hormones fire up during sex, they activate parts of the brain involved with facial recognition and many others.

Just like any person can get desensitized to a drug, they do too. I'm not saying they are bad people, but their perspective is NOT one you want to listen to about this.

(Its reminds me of a relative of mine. Special forces vet, didn't get enjoyment from roller coasters or carnival rides anymore. To much adrenaline fucked him up and burned that part of his brain out... I remember when he was an old man and we went hunting, we heard a gunshot off a distance and he threw himself down and pulled his gun up in a ready position... This was a gray haired old man who already hobbled more than walked. Tried to pretend he just tripped. Man was old and it hurt him he was embarrassed. "Workers" get like that about sex. Its not a place you want to be in or emulate.)

So what you just gotta do is just get you a bunch of these hood rats. Run through them, just knock them out.

Boom, boom, boom.

And once you've done slayed like 20, 30 of them hood rats... now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho.

An upvote for a real comment.

Men rib each other all the time its what we do. If it seriously hurts you can always tell them so... Then they will rib you on something less painful and .ore amusing.

I remember my first time... Ruined way to many condoms from sheer inexperience and nerves, and lasted all of no time at all.

Her first time too, so it was emotionally satisfying, but I don't think either of us had what anyone could call a "good time"

(((This was before an older man set me straight on finding a wife and not sticking nothing in crazy.)))

First and last time you’ll ever get head in the morning 😂😭

The only exception is when they see it and say "NOPE! Not happening I have other jobs to do and I can't afford to not be able to walk."

I had a friend in college with that problem. Ladies wanted to "try him out" and all admitted it was painful and not fun. And he couldnt find an actual relationship, just got treated by a circus freak by the ladies.

Apparently being too big, is a big problem. (Happy ending he eventually found a hallway that fit. And we all joked about how fast her evential labor was.

"Kid just cralwed out" "Well having headroom to walk is nice" "X is larger then the baby, can't have been a problem." "Look at it this way X, neither of you could ever cheat on the other... I mean emotions aside its just not anatomically possible"

All in good fun, he got us back in turn.

I think you just found out that feelings for your partner are important

Stress and Anxiety. Stop putting pressure on yourself and F anyone who bugs you or bullys yo u about it. Nothing wrong with being a Virginia, waiting til your ready etc.

OIRAN by Nemophila Try this, pretty sure you'll be awake by the time she screams.

Thank goodness that didn’t happen to me. I got all 4 taken out and by day 3, I needed solid food so badly nothing could’ve stopped me. I went about eating regular food, waiting for that moment dry sockets would hit… it never came. I have a lot of sympathies for OP and I don’t blame them. Food tastes so much better when you can’t have them.

I just remember stapling my thumb, and being shocked by how it could have punctured my skin that much. It didn't hurt a lot, I was just more gobsmacked by what I'd done.

Don’t worry bro. It happens to the BEST of us. Your first time is particularly nervewracking. Sex gets better with experience. Dont sweat it. I’m glad you got to increase your experiences, and I hope next time (with it without a sex worker) goes well.

I second this. Definitely shitty friends.

No friend would do this. They would support you.

At least for me the staple didn't bend and I was able to pull it out without tearing my finger off in the process. I can't imagine how much more painful it would have been if it did.

Lol I learned my lesson

Let me give you the wise old man talk.

Don't bother with "workers" while sex sure does feel great during the act, the end is the same as running solo so to speak.

The best thing to do is ignore the insults, and work on yourself. Hit the gym, focus on your job and your hobbies.

When it comes to dating you need to switch up your conceptions. Women are people just like you and I, and just like men, most of them suck. So don't put them on a pedestal.

Instead treat dating as it should be, you are looking for a wife. (Or should be). Just like anything else you want to do or accomplish the first step is to define your objective. Sit down and list out the features if your perfect wife, then list our the features of the opposite of your perfect wife.

Next remind your self you will NEVER find your perfect wife, and you never have to settle for the opposite if that either. After taking time to understand that, start listing down when the features are if a barely acceptable wife, the least wife you could accept and be happier with than being alone.

Once you have that, work the next step up, what would make your really happy? What would make you feel lucky to have? What would be an honest match, list it all down and think about it. Then realize that none of those people exist, women being real people will always be better in some ways and worse in others, so as there are to many combinations to list imagine what improvements in one area are worth a deficit in others?

Now you have an idea of the ideal you are aiming for, the compromise that would make you lucky, and the honest fair match.

Now you know exactly what you are looking for, go look for it. Ask women on dates and talk with them. Dinner, coffee, whatever really works so you can talk and get to know them. If after the first date they don't meet the standards you have written down, move on.

During this process you are not really "having a girlfriend" you are trying to find a girl that is worth spending your life with. Don't bother with flings, they just waste your time and emotionally tax you.

Eventually you will find her if you are looking. And here is the secret.

Anyone who meets the written standards will start to grow on you over time. Your mind will release hormones and drugs and literally brain wash both of you into thinking the other is perfect. " That small defect isn't a defect its cute" sort of thing. By ensuring that you only bother with worth while women when that brain washing eventually wears off (as it always does) you will still be happy with your choice.

That's it, don't try to find a girlfriend, try to find a wife, ignore the idiots that waste time on drama. When you find her, and you have kids if your own, pay this advice forward.

Good luck.