Hey buddy ! Sorry this happened. You very well may have been drugged. While it makes sense for your gf to be upset, if she has a sense of empathy / compassion, that should be sufficient within the context of this incident to not destroy the relationship. She probably needs some time. Because as everyone else is saying, there also needs to be some room for her to understand that you may have been drugged, and to be concerned about your well-being

Tbh, I have seen a lot of shitty social attitudes in relation to alcohol. You’re expected to drink, really heavily sometimes, and still manage to “handle your alcohol” ….. but tbh the effects of alcohol can easily go haywire, depending on the person. Feeling sickly beforehand / not eating enough / having things on your mind / the type of alcohol you’re drinking etc. etc. etc. can make anyone “lose it” from time to time. It’s sort of a gamble in terms of who you are and where you’re at in terms of your physiology at any given time. Alcohol is a drug, and it will never not be, no matter how socially acceptable its consumption is. So, even if you weren’t drugged, these things happen. It sucks, but it happens. Take it easy ! Hope everything pans back out. You can always message her friends and apologize. Everyone has had moments where they acted in ways that didn’t reflect who they really are, alcohol / drugs involved or not

Sure, that's fair. It depends how mad she is, how long she will stay mad at him, if she would break up with him over this, etc.

I can absolutely understand being mad and emotional about this, but if she would break up with him over a genuine mistake with no negative intentions and no context, that would be taking it too far IMO.

That last part is what strikes me, too. Complete disregard for OPs wellbeing, metaphorically punching once more with that reaction.

I'm sure this has happened to me. I can usually hold my drinks pretty well and would regularly drink through the night and stop around 9am the next day, but going out with female friends for drinks at uni and completely blacked out a few times, luckily just woke up at home in my own bed but never had complete black outs like that before.

Thanks for the insight. Sorry you went through that!

this happened to me my junior year of college.. i was absolutely shit faced after 2 beers.. barely walk or speak.. i made it to my girlfriends house and we knew something was up but fortunately i made it home before i passed out or anything worse happened..

Something similar happened to me shortly after meeting my ex. We'd been seeing each other for 2 months at this point. She had a small group of 3 friends she used to go on nights out with - 2 guys and a girl. None of them had slept together but she'd kissed one of the guys ages ago & it turns out he had a thing for her. Didn't discover that until after all this.

In short, we went to this guys place for pre drinks and pizza. All good, feeling good and we go out. 2 bars through and 5-6 drinks in for me, we go to a club but me and him are walking ahead of the others. We get into the club and he buys me a drink.

After that I was apparently dancing with the other girl closely while he was there with her telling her how bad I was for her and how he'd never do that to her. I remember bits and pieces, her taking me to the women's toilets because she needed a wee and didn't want to leave me alone because of the state I was in. Ended up throwing up loads in there before she took me out and we got a cab back to this guys place as a group. Threw up a bunch more throughout the night and woke up feeling like death warmed up and no memory of anything past entering the club and him getting us a drink.

Her friend was driving me and her home and it was the coldest, quietest ride I've ever had. I was clueless so was asking what was wrong, if they were just hungover etc and nobody said a word. She told me what I'd done when we got back and was close to breaking up with me.

She told me about this guy and what he was saying while I was dancing with her friend. I asked her if he was big into drugs or anything dodgy because it didn't feel right that I'd be so drink after so few drinks - she even said it was bizarre because she'd had the same amount of drinks as me up until the club and was a lot smaller than me, but was still fully aware of what she was doing. She said he does all sorts - Mcat, coke, MDMA, ketamine, whatever. It all kinda clicked because like you, OP, I knew my limits and I was barely tipsy before we went into the club. The only drink I had all night without her there or one of us watching it on our table was with him.

After taking some time on her own to think, she suspected he'd drugged me to win her over and show that he was better than other guys for her. Dude was hounding her to meet up while we took a break. She was initially heartbroken when she saw me dancing with her friend & he was holding her back, but when she saw the state I was in when I came back to the table she recognised I was completely out of it and took care of me.

Stayed together 4 and a half years after that, then she cheated on me in our home during lockdown lmao.

In short, all you can do is ask her if that's the person she knows you to be (drunk any other time or sober), apologise profusely and ask her to sit down and walk through the night with you - when did you leave drinks unattended, when did your behaviour change etc. She might put 2 and 2 together for something you don't remember and this will both help you understand what happened to you as well as maybe clear things up with her.

Regardless, I'd apologise to anyone that you upset separately for anything you said. Don't blame it on being drugged as you don't have any proof, just take the L for now. Your GF will tell them what you talk about separately and hopefully they'll understand. Good luck.

"tldr: convinced bf that I have a dead brother, he's actually my nephew. Bf met him at christmas party and freaked out, then left me for jesus"

I really like this take and perspective. I acknowledge she has the right to be mad. I would be too. But also she needs to seriously take into consideration what might have been.

Check yourself to see if you're actually an alcoholic. Might be time to be done with that shit.

If your a heavy drinker and have blacked out before its easy to happen again and again. My friend is an alcoholic (M37). He is a daily drinker and every few months he gets black out drunk and then thinks someone spiked his drink. If you are truly not a heavy drink then go for that drug test like top post says.

I don’t think that’s the case. We ate a lot at dinner. Do find myself having a cough today though, but I don’t really think Im sick either.

Sometimes if you don’t eat properly or are coming down with something, alcohol can hit you differently. I’ve had occasions where my tolerance is half of what it would normally be just due to those factors. Could this be the case? The fact that you were blackout and have no memory of anything makes me think it could be drugging though….

oof, definitely not your fault but what a modern fuck up.

If she's really that quick to question whether she wants to stay with you, I'd overthink whether it's worth staying with her.

No, seriously. If you explained to her what you just wrote here - that you barely drank and might have been drugged - and she's still questioning herself with you (if there was no such incidents before), then she's quite quick to leave. Better now than later, as hard as that may sound.

(Don't get me wrong, she's still of course got all right to be mad at you for what happened. I just find that reaction a little far taken in relation to what happened and what the circumstances were. Did you seriously hurt someone? No? If it was just a ruined day - sometimes, things turn your days to shit, and it can happen within seconds. I'd question whether she appreciates the effort you put into making this a good day for her, which at least taken from this post you say you did).

I don’t like this comment because it’s negating the actions that happened. What she experienced is very real and she can need time to recover from that. As far as being drugged, GHB isn’t likely to cause aggression. Although still possible, there’s no way to know at this point.

this is absolutely hilarious

Second this. I've seen people screaming on the floor fighting demons or fighting their friends and loved ones after being spiked with GHB. Nasty stuff.

Sounds like you were spiked.

Seen it 100s of times. It always seems like they're incredibly drunk or having a mental break. If your girlfriend doesn't seem concerned about it then find yourself another girlfriend. You could have ended up in a real bad situation. You ruined nothing.

It really is. I LOVE to see the folks I’m with get drunk! I do not promote it, but if they choose that path I dig it. I get to see who they really are.… and thereby get to see who to avoid in the future.

Alcohol in and of itself is not addictive. Yes you can become dependent on it, but it is not straight-up addictive like heroin. Hundreds of millions of people can have a beer or a glass of wine, and not have to have another the next day or the day after that. They don’t have to get their fix. If alcohol were an addictive substance that would not be true; virtually everyone who ever has a drink would be spending their next many hours/days seeking the next drink.

The people who get addicted to alcohol do so for one main reason: it gives them license to be who they really are. The gal who is ordinarily prim and proper, but after four glasses of champagne she’s in a motel banging the bartender? The crazy uncle who usually sits sullenly in his recliner, but after three beers starts beating his wife and kids? Those are the folks who are addicted. And it is because the alcohol lets them be who they are. Takes away the socially acceptable mask they usually wear.

Who in the world does not want to be who they truly are?? THAT is what is addicting to these people; they get to be that socially unacceptable person they’ve been hiding away. All they need is a few drinks to reconnect with their true selves.

Virtually no one goes to AA meetings saying “yeah although I enjoy it and am harming no one, I drink too much so here I am”. It is almost always accompanied by “I did XXXXXXX, and in the process hurt others and/or embarrassed myself, and I keep doing it and can’t control it anymore” or something similar.

When they do these terrible things it is not the alcohol doing the thing. It is the person, the true person, doing the thing. Blaming alcohol or blaming an addiction to alcohol is evasion.

Probably it's just easy and hard to prove the opposite?

Probably because more and more people are drugging others.

This is awesome! Reminds me of when I was on my early 20s and loaded Buffy's Sweary Keyboard (It might still be about if you Google it, but it was Flash based) as active desktop at my workplace. Hearing someone sing the word RECTUUUUUUUM had me in stitches at the time

Some people do switch when drunk, but this situation is sounding like a one off.

"I was drugged" is the most popular excuse now.