My wife loves that shit and I also learned the hard way after the cold sack and butthole set in.

It's like those old gum commercials where they are suddenly transported to a windy mountain top, but for your balls.

.Call her and apologize. Tell her you were babysitting your seven-year old, nephew who was using your phone to play games, while you were outside doing yard work, or working in the other room. You didn't realize she had called and that your nephew answered the phone. Thinking he was being funny, he farted into the phone.

You just found out about it from your sister after she overheard her son telling a friend of his. You looked at your call log and realized, to your horror, the call your nephew answered was from the company. Apologize and tell her you're really embarrassed.

Most people can surely relate to kids doing embarrassing things.

This sounds very plausible.

I had a friend who lost her virginity to her boyfriend, who was experienced and ended up cuming all over her inner thigh because he could never get it in.

Even with the lights off I don't understand how he could be that bad with his aim :(

Yes, she had bruises all over her inner thighs from all the different places he was trying to shove it into.

Thank you based god

I(male) once masturbated after applying tiger balm on my achy knees without washing my hands but i had to hop in the shower and wash off after it got unbearably hot

Welp, the title is a bit misleading then I suppose.

This is why I use nothing but Dove and Head & Shoulders.

Lol

Omg. I'm imagining trying to remove it frantically once the deep absorbtion began. In your defense, it is used to "rub one out", although it is usually used for muscle pain.

A quick nail check before we go in anymore. Haha also I’ll just say it was just enough to work with.

I once tried using that blue hot n cold gel stuff to jerk off when I was around 17. It burned so much i passed it on to my son who was born 5 years later.

yeah tea tree is nothing to mess with. Heard its good for killing lash mites so i bought some and put it on my lids. OWwwww

Tits n slits is too! 😂

You need put in your whatever profiles that you require your partners to well manicured nails lol. So, based on this information of him trying to fuck your belly button - I'm going to presume he wasn't the most well endowed partner?

Your just not used to it. I use tea tree and mint body wash and wash everywhere with it and love the tingly burn and the fresh feeling afterwards. Sometimes it can be a bit intense especially if you have a cut or something but even then don't mind it.

I regularly forget this and buy peppermint body wash during the holidays

OMG I LOVE that stuff- is it still made?!? Original Mint Source shampoo is wooonderful! {apologies if I mixed up the name it's been 20 years}.

Oh fooey, Veet is child's play; try an epilady, then we'll chat! The guy who created that monster should be required to have a grumpy mammography tech do his testicular exam.

Thank you for your service 😌

[deleted]

Lol I did that with hair conditioner with menthol in it once to shave. Everything was burnt numb.

There are tradies (workperson, labourers) shampoo in Australia for pits and bits, it's a pretty silly and funny ad.

Okay you’ve cracked me 😂 I have some other gems from that same interaction.

I was trying hookups and met up with this guy in a hotel. He made it pretty clear beforehand that he was a big fat fetish person along with being a feeder. He bought us pizza and fed it to me, when I would get sauce on my face (I’m a messy eater lmao) he took away my napkins and sucked the sauce from/around my lips 😭😭 Along with that we started getting spicy and learned neither of us brought a condom. So we did some non penetration stuff but along with that he tried fucking my rolls and then my belly button. He also had the same issue of fingernails when trying to get me off 😬

All night earlier too he would stick his fingers in it and spat in it once. When I went home the next morning it was fully red raw and hurt to bend my torso because of how much he handled it lol.

I mean, you can't drop that kind of teaser and then not tell the story!!

What have you got to lose?