I did get better and switched to talking but now with a disabled child we sleep in separate beds. We have a nurse for 3 nights so we can hang out, she gets 2 nights watching her, and I take the weekend’s watching her.

"initial hump"

I see what you did there....

Redditors are the unfunniest people on the planet, my god

Can’t buy underwear either. This was the only way.

I am told, hand to god, this happened.

Boy and girl who work together. Girl usually goes for tall, in great shape, movie star face, goes for boy who's not really too tall, kind of average, dad bod. He's clueless she likes him and she has to throw the kitchen sink at him to get him to realize she's hot for him.

Finally do the deed. We'll call him Stan, for the purposes of this story.

G: Oh, yeah, put it in me.

B: Here it comes.

G: Oh wow... Stan!?

B: But wait, there's more

Laughter from girl interrupted by more.

Story told from girl perspective to the chorus of "really? Stan? Hmmmm" from other girls.

I have an external mic I use for zoom/gaming. Tapping it from above mutes/unmutes, and the whole mic illumination turns off on mute.

HyperX cloud quadcast or something.

I always mute from the mic.

1. Remove risk from zoom not muting even though it is supposed to, I have seen this happen.
2. Other members can't see if I am muted.
3. Improved Audio a lot compared to on board mics.

The tampon made you dizzy? Did you put a cardboard applicator in? I mean tampons are uncomfortable but painfully dizzying is a new one for me. Maybe you have endo

Hey, if it works it works! Glad you found a thing that works for you!

The biggest thing is to relax though. If you're nervous about it you're likely tensing up. Take a few deep breaths and tell yourself it will be ok.

Wait, is your underwear under that one guys couch? His wife is totes pissed off.

Why don't you ask your family?

Australian penis owner checking in, I literally had to google what the banjo string was, I've not once heard the frenulum referred to as a banjo string lmao

EDIT: it just hit me that you got that bit stuck behind your top teeth somehow??? That's some really, really unfortunate positioning for both of you, I'm sorry to your teeth and your man hahaha

Snapped mine half way yrs ago, had to take it the rest of the way with a Stanley knife. Fun day.

OK, now I'm sorry I asked. :(

Since they way I broke it was like a falling motion and me catching myself with my hand and thumb snapping backwards, I told my mom I tripped on the uneven sidewalk (I had gone out with friends the day before, so had "witnesses") and didn't go get it looked at for a couple days when ice wasn't working and the bruising was spreading. And since the story was plausible the orthopedic surgeon also believed me how it happened 🤦🏼‍♀️

If your family is not very conservative you don't have to do anything, she will go about her life, you will go about yours. Worst case scenario, she gets a little bit tipsy at a family gathering and hits you with the old "Remember that time when...".

... Bro.

There is a learning curve to using tampons. And being upset from the ordeal didn't help. Do yourself a favor and practice with them. You'll figure it out quickly. Don't let one experience stop you.

So, I take it that evening you prepared a bindle, and in the dead of night hiked to the train tracks, and you’re a train hopper now, only friend is the endless rails, no, not that tampon-tent-girl at all…

Hahahahahah. He's circumcised. Maybe it's like an Australian and British thing to call it a banjo string ?

Is it "Blued" out?

I can just picture John Cleese doing this. 😂

TIL uncircumcised men have a musical instrument in their pants that can break.

Period Basis -0.0