Recent comments in /f/tifu
FerrisTheRed t1_ixrimhm wrote
Good ending, in my opinion. Wasps are evil little buggers, and you are justified in fearing them (and enjoying the schadenfreude when one gets ass-squished).
gutscheinmensch t1_ixri7rx wrote
Reply to comment by HelpMeTHrowaway12243 in TIFU by lying about me being colorblind 9 years ago. by HelpMeTHrowaway12243
If you're even luckier, you're a glasses type face and will look incredibly stylish when around your friends in the future!
HelpMeTHrowaway12243 OP t1_ixrhwjo wrote
Reply to comment by gutscheinmensch in TIFU by lying about me being colorblind 9 years ago. by HelpMeTHrowaway12243
I dont want that to happen bro save me
HelpMeTHrowaway12243 OP t1_ixrhp2d wrote
Reply to comment by winklevie in TIFU by lying about me being colorblind 9 years ago. by HelpMeTHrowaway12243
i wish i could but they expensive as shit i dont want my friends paying like 700$ for one
gutscheinmensch t1_ixrhnp8 wrote
I am sorry, but from now on you will be a wearer of glasses and if you're lucky it will filter out the opposite colors so you will actually be colorblind with the glasses and do not have to lie anymore 👍🏻
cheekylassrando t1_ixrhlsx wrote
Reply to comment by flaskextinguisher in TIFU by grabbing the turkey to break my fall by flaskextinguisher
How was the turkey ruined and also mostly okay simultaneously?
Tinuviel52 t1_ixrhjtl wrote
You should probably get that checked out, eye/head injuries can be serious even if you’re not feeling a ton of pain. And burns bigger than 3cm on the hand should be checked regardless
winklevie t1_ixrheeb wrote
Let them give u the glasses and then you give them me cuz I'm actually red/green colorblind
doyoubelieveincrack t1_ixrf64d wrote
Reply to comment by Figgy20000 in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
Read my other comments
Figgy20000 t1_ixrdb8g wrote
Reply to TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
How do you raw dog it without knowing what kind of birth control she is on?
This is how you end up with 12 unwanted babies my friend.
jakegene t1_ixrcr8t wrote
I once came from sauna, and in my jeans was a bumble-bee.
HotMess_ish t1_ixrcqja wrote
You're still right, though...it wasn't a spider. Hope your ass starts to feel better!
SaintElmo54 t1_ixrcep9 wrote
If you still feel ok 24 hours later, you probably don't have much to worry about. Typically, you will get cramping, sometimes severe, which feels similar to stomach flu, but fortunately does not last more than a day. On the other hand, if you ate a bowl of e-coli, you can be in some serious trouble.
Last time I had food poisoning, I got a bad case of cold sweats and passed out, and felt like hell all day.
Shirlenator t1_ixrcclu wrote
Reply to comment by Lymantria24 in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
I think it is less about him already knowing the information, and more about him not saying literally anything before he starts yanking on stuff down there.
TheReinsofFullnight t1_ixrcbs6 wrote
Reply to comment by flaskextinguisher in TIFU by grabbing the turkey to break my fall by flaskextinguisher
Over the next few weeks lol.
Booskop89 t1_ixrbxv7 wrote
Reply to TIFU by making my schools band teacher think im homophobic and racist by Certifiedcatrasimp
This was hilarious, thanks for posting
[deleted] OP t1_ixrbxlh wrote
Reply to TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
[deleted]
Stormy95 OP t1_ixrbdjx wrote
Reply to comment by AcrobaticSource3 in TIFU by not going home with a girl when I had the chance by Stormy95
Omg should've thought of that now I understand why everyone thinks im a douchebag
FastestCheeseSlinger t1_ixras6y wrote
Reply to comment by flaskextinguisher in TIFU by grabbing the turkey to break my fall by flaskextinguisher
Ive had black eyes, nothing this bad though, personally I wouldn't see a doctor it may go away in a week or so, but obv a doctor can't hurt.
MaxxB1ade t1_ixr9u55 wrote
Many moons ago when I had long hair, I was walking down the main street of the city I lived in then and felt something touch my head. Being the cool long haired dood on the street, I casually ran my fingers through my locks only to be stung between two fingers by a bloody great wasp which then proceeded to hover in front of my face giving me full eye contact until the pain kicked in. Well, off he fucked on his merry way while I turned into the crazy guy that everyone crosses the street to avoid.
All I remember is pain and swearing, oh, and also the old lady who had watched the entire event from a bench she was chilling on. That's what brought me back down to earth, I thought she was having some kind of seizure. She was holding her mouth whilst coughing and crying with her other hand on her chest. Turns out she was laughing so hard she nearly spat her false teeth out and her chest was sore because she could hardly take a breath from laughing so much.
I really wanted to call her a heartless bitch but apart from not being able to make a fist for a couple of days, I was fine and she had probably prevented me being carted off to the nearest funny farm for my own good.
Fuck wasps!
Edit: typo and just to add, fuck all wasps!
doyoubelieveincrack t1_ixr9l0u wrote
Reply to comment by Ocean_Spice in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
Yeah just got really lucky I guess. Very thankfull for that. But felt very sorry the following weeks
Ocean_Spice t1_ixr9fbq wrote
Reply to comment by doyoubelieveincrack in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
I’m surprised she wasn’t in a lot more pain, that shit hurts.
doyoubelieveincrack t1_ixr95yv wrote
Reply to comment by Ocean_Spice in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
Haha no at that moment I was stupid as fuck and just thought I figured out why she was feeling unwell. Also we were both quite drunk at that moment. But yeah it’s a TIFU after all, ey?
TheyCallMeGilly t1_ixr8v9k wrote
Reply to comment by doyoubelieveincrack in TIFU by taking out my girlfriends IUD by [deleted]
Well, when I accidentally tugged on the wire she immediately had cramps so bad that she was doubled over, but it was probably 11 pm or so, so she had to suffer through the night, but her doctor called back on the morning and said “if he can still feel it, have him pull it out” so that’s what I did and it came out relatively easily so she felt better within 2 hrs
HelpMeTHrowaway12243 OP t1_ixriqp8 wrote
Reply to comment by gutscheinmensch in TIFU by lying about me being colorblind 9 years ago. by HelpMeTHrowaway12243
i already wear glasses, but wouldnt it be weird that when they ask me what color is that and point at something i have to take off my glasses so i can see what the actual color is because i wouldnt know with the colorblind glasses