OP did you see a health professional? Just checking on you. I've had black eyes but never swelling like that

It will… here is a time lapse of a healing black eye

It won’t make you feel better, but it will hopefully spare you from nasty surprises

About two weeks, you should be down to a nice sickly green color that can be covered with makeup

Buy the glasses yourself so they won't

Well, how's the turkey's wife holding up?

My psychotic ass would conclude that she’s an android sent to spy on me if I felt wires in her like that

now you have my attention

Bro if you confess it's gonna blow their fucking minds. If you are a cool dude I don't think anything will change in your relationships.

Yeah sorry but you did FU. No way out but to admit that 9 years ago you were seeking attention and wanted to be special. I don’t know how or why you haven’t owned up to it sooner. It’s a lot easier as a young youth to admit you fibbed and retain less drastic consequences. Now that you and your friends are coming into more mature ages it’s only going to hit harder and there’s nothing to do to mitigate that unless you move away and make all new friends. That’s almost a decade of a lie and you’re not even an adult yet. I’m not sure how you’ve gone this long (bravo I guess?) but unless you want to live this lie out until you either die or lose contact with these friends then you should probably come clean.

Side note: don’t let your teenage friends spend what little money they may have on a kind gesture for you that is completely unnecessary and not even legitimate.

This might sound harsh, and I’m sorry. However, that is the consequences for your actions and I hope this situation sheds a valuable lesson on your life.

It’s really too bad you don’t have a video of it.

I am already told I will not be living this one down, and if I ever want to make a turkey for thanksgiving again I need to serve at least 2 good ones before hand haha.

Absolutely....

As it should be

I almost had multiple breakdowns during this. My wife today has been playing that song which goes you ruined everything to get laughs out.

Oof - accidents happen, but I’m always shocked at gatherings where parents don’t keep their kids out of the way of working adults and breakables.

I am so sorry you were hurt!!

r/fuckwasps

Ugh thank god you have a great wife. Mine would also deal with my drunk ass if I ever did some silly shit like this but I'd never hear the end of it. Enjoy sobering up and the misery of knowing what you've done.

I lost an entire friend group over a false accusation from someone else in the friend group who was the actual culprit. They believed him instead of me. Yes it was very traumatic but I’m glad I don’t hangout with those people anymore. They’re all shitty people going nowhere in life anyway. You’ll get over it eventually if you lose them.

This was a roller coaster I wasn't ready for 🤣

I would be worried you may have chipped or fractured the bone. Not a medical professional though, si not sure what that actually looks like.

Just tell them you don't want the glasses. Tell them your case is not considered to be that bad. You only have a few more years of this then you'll likely never see 99% of these people for the rest of your life. At 16 it's been so long that you honestly should just commit at this point. We all tell stupid lies as kids but I think very rarely do they have this lifespan and you'd get a lot of shit for revealing it now. Not saying they wouldn't be friends with you anymore but as I'm sure you know kids your age can be dickheads.

Drinking like that really isn’t the norm for me. And after this I’ll only be less inclined to it. And boy howdy am I blessed to have a lovely wife. Great idea with the apology flowers I’m going to use that one for sure

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG, you just made my day! I'm glad nobody saw!!

you have three options here:

1. admit to them for lying, apologise.

2. act as if it was a joke all along and that you tricked them (before they buy the glasses)

3. continue letting them believe the lie.

What about big ass wasps?

If my friend told me this, I'd keel over laughing.