LoL you are acting on the belief that all Christians are taught the same thing. Most Christians have no clue of the very thing I'm speaking of.

Your comment is like me saying all men can tell a woman by looking at her eyes..

The bib goes back further than we have corroborated history? According to who?

That statement is patently false. There is far more recorded history, corroborated by multiple sources and physical observations than the mythology/historical fiction that is in any of the ≈500 versions of the supposedly immutable and inerrant christian bible.

The Bible can’t get basic dates correct, can’t get basic geography correct, can’t get basic biology, mathematics, etc. correct. How can it be trusted as a viable source of history?

Save yourself. There's no better opportunity than the present to come clean. Eventually they'll find out and you will have suffered for nothing

A guest ate his aunt’s month-old seafood salad. This is what happened to his tract.

They sound stupid

You didn’t fuck up. Your aunts and uncles fucked up for allowing their kids to run around in the dining room. That put you in a situation where there wasn’t any way to come out successful.

I've switched from traditional turkey method to Alton Brown's turkey recipe, and never looked back. Bird comes out evenly and perfectly cooked, with zero basting needed. Recommend you check this out, to avoid future ridicule.

There's also no cell phones biblically but bible beaters still know what they are.

If you claim to be religious and can't tell the difference between a pentagram and a star of david, not only should people correct you, they also should not aspire to be your friend.

David is discussed in the New Testament too. The Star/Seal of Solomon wasn’t uniquely Jewish and wasn’t associated until a few hundred years ago…

There’s no fuck up here, if these Christians didn’t want to learn anything.

you typed this bad excuse up on reddit as a cover-your-ass move, eh?

Don't let people hold your phone to "see" anything.

Man this is one of the funniest drunk fails ever! The next "american pie"

This is niche, and everybody knows about the instagram years-ago-stigma. Im sure shed understand, or even, you dont have to explain. It was just an accident, if she brings it up.

Yes I'm with you. She should have left them alone.

I get that and such, but it wasn't like OP told her to grab the pants. She chose to do that on her own. It's OPs house, if he wants to jerk it, that's his business. It didn't involve the maid, until the maid made it involve her.

Pretty inappropriate and understandable that she wouldn’t want to come back. However she is a cleaning lady and shouldn’t be fazed by some things, including this. It’s probably more so that’s it’s you specifically rather than what you did, that bothered her the most.

This seems a bit extreme on her part but I bet guys do creepy stuff like that.

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Go get help, you shouldn't feel like this. That feeling will only grow as you get older if you leave it untreated now.

As for how your mom feels, she is your mom. Her worrying about you is already what she does.

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The title of this short story is "Poop Lick".

I did unlike it

Lmao what the fuck is this

No, what you did is fine. Only an insecure Christian would be offended by such a comment, especially coming from an atheist.
You might take the next opportunity to explore history of a character like David. You can tell some amazing history (if you know it) and impress your religious friends. Just be careful (both sides) not to try to 'convert' anyone.

unlike the photo dude. it happens, don't bring it up or try to awkwardly joke about it