Go Shawshank Redemption and get into the pipes to find them.

Glad you were able to tell them the truth in the end. They should buy you a pair of those cheap 3d glasses anyway for the hell of it.

Can you show me a photo of her on your phone?

And that’s how I met your mother

Ahhh yes the circle of life, Donna would be so proud

Probably crying because I’m sure the chickens are dead but I’m too scared to go over lol

Exactly, I’d be out for a different smoke break… and then too paranoid to say anything

Those glasses don't even work if you're color blind. They're at best "color corrective" for people who are slightly colorblind like me, but they cannot add cones to your eyes. Colorblindness is due to a lack of specific color receptors in your eyes, no glasses will ever give you the ability to see new colors or tell apart colors you cannot.

It's kind of disturbing that you're OK with having semen stained shorts just on your bed like that.

When I make a mess, my first instinct is to clean it, not to just throw it on my bed and forget about it.

Acknowledging proven science doesn't mean you can't believe in God or vice versa.
Creationism does not exclude evolution or vice versa.

I don't get why so many people think this way.

Just find someone else bro. It’s over.

That's hilarious

Look, which do you think your neighbor would prefer? You checking, albeit in a rather frantic sort of way, or you ignoring a potential coop fire? Chickens are highly flammable.

Not a fuck-up. You did the right thing. And I speak as someone who has, in fact, had to put out a fire in my neighbor's front yard. (His kid's wheeled hovercraft thing sparked up and started exploding.)

My dude, they're Christians. I wouldn't worry what they think. They believe in a massive bearded fairy and 'his' zombie sun for goodness' sake.

'Oooh noooo, don't step on the star that someone drew, you might upset our particular non-existant deity!'

Come now, you can find better friends than literal crazy people

Omg this would be me and I’d also be high which would make it worse

That’s not a fuck-up. At least your neighbors know that you’ve got their back.

Grew up in a church. Star of David was the equivalent of a pentagram. Drawing them might summon a Jew or someshit.

​

Wasn't a good church, but I just got a little chuckle from the idea of the church I grew up in having respect for the star of david.

OP writing this cover story🤣 “my boss did it!”

Bleh, if they get upset from something like that it is not your fault. And they are definitely not acting like Christians should.

Walmart security has one. They found it hilarious.

[removed]

She didn’t know what pants were?

There's a mess for you to tidy up

Today I Fucked Up... 9 years ago

[removed]