Recent comments in /f/tifu

Outside_Cod667 t1_ixzs6nt wrote

Reply to comment by SSNs4evr in TIFU by saying 'Men are born drivers' infront of my two senior female co-workers. TL;DR by ioncarelol

There are always going to be a lot of variables and it isn't black and white. Typically researchers will factor in thar men drive more (accidents per mile for example). The sexist part of this post is that OP stated very black and white, "Men are automatically good drivers simply because they are a man." The definition of safety is obviously debatable as well and I'm finding studies that go both ways. Both genders have traits that can lead them to being either good or bad drivers.

As a women, it's frustrating that men will just say, "Men are just better at x, y, z," as a blanket statement, based on anecdotal evidence, for things that simply aren't true. "Oh, I didn't mean to be offensive, it's just a fact." Or "in my experience it's true.. I don't mean allll women." It's frustrating because this type of thinking leads to other unconscious sexist thoughts.

I'll do my best to explain what it feels like as a woman to hear these types of statements. I'm certainly not speaking for all women here. When men make these types of blanket statements at work, it tends to be the type of men that will talk over women during a meeting. It's the the that call me aggressive during a meeting because I stand my ground, or say, "Hey Drew, Amy wasn't done speaking yet and I'd like to hear what she has to say." Or, my favorite, would rather ask a man that is new to the team, rather than me (the subject matter expert), because I'm a woman in a male dominated field. Is that always the case? No. But women experience this type of thing frequently, and if a man consistently makes statements like this, I'm going to be on edge around them.

I'm someone that will call a man out, in a lighthearted way. The majority of the time a guy will realize it and apologize, because it really wasn't intentional. It's hard to see sexism if you dont experience (similar to racism). I'm not bothered by these statements unless 1) it's consistent or 2) the guy doubles down / defends the sexist comment.

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