“You’re not abusing a kid right?” “Nope lol” “haha okay just checking”

Yes?

Well at least you got to laugh it off over a phone call instead of letting the swat team figure out it was just a story after they shoot you and destroy your house.

Remind sme of the time my daughter was bathing and I told her about sewer snakes that like to talk to you. Fortunately she only beleived me for a quartersecond and thne it was "Daa--aad!" IT was my job to watch ehr, Mom was too much of a recliner potato to do it.

“ . We celebrate our second daughter's birthday every year on May 10th and we even sign cards from her to people when we send things from the family.”

Hold up…

Every year of my life affirms that farm girls are absolutely not to be fucked with. That would’ve had my suburban ass in therapy and state custody.

Hugo.

Bingo

I told my then three year old son about the woman in the attic in Jane Eyre; nine years later he’s still afraid of the attic. At least the story never made it’s way to any authority figure.

Don’t feel bad. I told my kids about “pore, pore Larry,” (You have to pronounce it like that—not just poor, but po-er) who l lived in the basement and ate dryer lint because he was no good. We shake our heads and tsk, “He just wouldn’t eat his supper

My parents told me there’s an invisible spanking machine in the closet that malfunctioned and accidentally spanked their first kid too much and that’s why I’m now the oldest... Parents are just us when grown up and say wild shit sometimes because it’s funny to them and kids are stupid

And so you shall!

I can’t wait to become this type of parent. Haha. Love the story.

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We tell my oldest that one at least 3 times a year. Got it from The Simpsons. No one, including the child, has ever taken it seriously.

Not only the best in a while but also the greatest comments with all their memories and small stories!

girl… it didn’t click that this sister was in fact imaginary at first holy shit😶😂

and my parents used to say similar shit but I always knew they were joking

we once had this situation when I was like 6/7 years old. We were in the stables of our horse riding club and there was a now close friend of my mum‘s there as well (but back then we only knew each other vaguely). There was this old attic there for hay and stuff and I asked my mum and dad what was up there and my parents with their dry ass humor where like Dad: „there are giant bats with rabies up there“ and then my mum continued „and they’ll pull you up If you get too close“ and all of a sudden that now- close - friend of ours was all like „how can you say such terrible things to your daughter?!“ and some other parents currently in the stable were shocked as well 😂and I was just chilling and my parents had to defend themselves „all chill it’s just a joke. my daughter gets it“✋🏻😂🤚🏻

I did something similar - the story was an older brother, Eric, who my wife and I gave away because he misbehaved. This was a fun party trick when people would compliment me on how well behaved our children were. I’d tell one of my kids to explain why they were polite and they would reply they didn’t want to be Eric and be given away.

Fast forward years - and I stopped using the joke because they kids were now in college. My oldest’s psych teacher offered (privately) her counseling options after a class discussion on handling children with behavioral issues.

On a darker note, punishing the victim is how people deal with real abuse situations all the time and it's really enraging.

Imagine finding out for real that a teen girl you are paying to babysit is being hit and instead of saying "ok how about you work at my house instead" you cut off her income stream? Really sick shit and absolutely standard, every abuse survivor has stories like this of how "normal" people mistreated them.

HAHAHAH YEA IT WAS AND IT GENUINELY SCARED ME AS A KID

Katurian?

I told my kids when they were little that they had an older brother. See my kids could not behave at dinner and it drove me insane. I have 4 children. So I told them one day that their older brother died in an accident . He couldn't behave while I was making frozen waffles for dinner and I threw one at him. It hit him in the head and he died. I was a sthm at the time and my husband worked 18 hr days. I never had a break. At the time it was the wrong thing to do but I was tired.

So anyways 20 years later my husband asked me about this old son of ours. I just laugh it off. He tells me it's not funny as the youngest hold asked him about his brother he wanted to know what he like. Little did I know that 20 years later he still remembered that story but he believed.

I thought your daughter was going to look for her sister and get bitten by a snake or something.

I have an older brother and when we were kids he made up this massive lie that we had to older siblings who were locked up in the attic for being naughty and I believed him. Think that time was the best behaved I ever was as a kid until I eventually burst into tears to my mum begging not to be locked in the attic. At least your daughters smart enough to know you were talking rubbish unlike me haha

That's exactly what someone with a kid in a cage in their attic would say!