I only wish I had such friends who would always invite me. I am the one who always invites everyone to hang out and people say no 😔

This kind of thing is common when not speaking your native language, don't worry about it. There are so many false friends and near misses that are going to trip you up along the way.

The worst thing you can do when you embarrass yourself speaking another language is to shut down and stop speaking. It's easier said than done, but if you can find a healthy way to deal with this kind of embarrassing situation, it'll serve you really well long term.

Some people are very earnest and like to ask for feedback on their mistakes, and other people like to just laugh it off, but what's important is just to not to internalise it too much.

Don't think "I'm saying the wrong things because I'm bad at English", think "these situations will happen when someone is learning a new language".

I know this is just a TIFU, and you're probably not really beating yourself up about it in reality, but I'm kinda speaking to the gallery here. I know a lot of ESL people irl and this kind of thing will occasionally seriously knocks someone's confidence, and ends up halting their progress for weeks.

My family would had laughed and be like “here comes the celebrity cynic me too champion like a wrecking ball! Daamn” obviously knowing you meant rappers

They seem uptight.

To be fair, polla only means dick in spain and not in any other spanish speaking country. Globalization though has spread this understanding of "polla".

In chilean, pico is dick as well, and most other spanish speaking country uses the word normally. So, even though chilean is sort of their own language, you should always be carefull with spanish.

My russian flatmate once enthusiastically said he couldn't wait to see the sea cats. Turns out he meant sealions 😂

Your learning a whole other language and that's really cool! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about mistakes.

I once hurt my back really bad picking up my towel getting out of shower, boss did not believe me.

Months later he comes over to my desk and says, well I guess you can hurt your back doing mundane things.

He was out in his backyard and bent down to pick up his garden tools and fucked up his back. It hurt so bad he had to crawl back to his house whispering for help as breathing hurt.

We had a good laugh but yeah shit happens to all of us.

I have a feeling that you might use it more in the future. It actually is the healthier alternative to alcohol, so consider it a win.

Thought of CHS as well when you mentioned the shower helping, but it is a very rare phenomenon which usually happens to long-time heavy cannabis users, so it can be ruled out for you (luckily).

Honestly, if you go to New Orleans you should just plan on getting a disease at some point. That city (specially Bourbon Street) is like living in a landfill. In fact, I’d trust a landfill more.

I was in Malaysia and a singer sung Katy Perry, taste of your cherry chop stick, had to explain to her what chapstick was

I see, I misread your comment's tone as negative, my apologies about that

Thanks OTTERSage, I can't deny I was inconsiderate even if it was a casual remark. The good thing is that my colleagues laughed it off. In fact my boss was very clear that if you're not feeling well, be sure to take a leave

Life pro tip.

The mouth floods with saliva before vomiting to protect the mouth from the stomach acid.

So if you're feeling nauseous and not sure if you are gonna throw up or not that is the warning to watch for. When that happens you are about to vomit, it's not just nausea any more.

Looking out for this may buy you a few extra seconds to sprint to something to throw up in.

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He did make an attempt to properly speak their language. Probably better than most others who speak two or more languages. I don't get what you're trying to say here, so I'll just assume that you're monolingual and don't get how difficult it is to learn another language

You’ve got a lot of vitriol in the comments and somewhat rightfully so because people can’t stand this kinda attitude.

I’ll say good on you, OP. Recognizing one’s fault is hard and it’s even more hard to come out and say “I fucked up” to your boss and to a public forum. Carry this lesson about being more compassionate to all aspects of your life. Don’t just wait until it conveniently affects you.

I believe it was caused by bacterias and shit that you accidentally shallowed when you were licking your boss's ass

Oh the irony, that's what you get for being a grass. Suck it up buttercup!

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Not a big deal really

During our break I sincerely brought up the topic and accepted I was too harsh. My manager told me I should have taken a leave. Lesson learnt. Health-wise, I'm okay now. Just had to make a lot of trips to the washroom

A person who creates arts is an artist. A person who makes rap music is a rapper. Pretty confusing for someone new to English to be honest.

Yes you're the asshole.

What a stupid reaction from your father in law. Especially if he's not some old conservative fuck, but listening to 2pac. I'd laugh my ass off and explain it to you. No need for a disgusted look.

Another word is don’t say “pedo” randomly, because in Spanish it’s a fart (natural gases from your bum), in English it’s labelling someone who’s sexually attracted to children