Recent comments in /f/todayilearned

MysteryRadish t1_j8q4dk2 wrote

Another little known fact: if you say this in an actual courtroom, people don't appreciate the reference as much as I thought they would. Instead, they get angry. Dude, lighten up, your honor. LFMF.

113

Jcdabney t1_j8q2l8l wrote

12

koiven t1_j8q1trc wrote

Well it has a parenthetical because its an aside and that's what parentheticals are for. Really it just reads like a typical 19th century sentence.

Writing was more ponderous back then

23

bullwinkle8088 t1_j8q0bdu wrote

I miss late 80's early 90's Little Caesars when it was the square pizza! pizza! variety (2 in a box at the time). For a time, not that long in the scheme of things, they were better than the other delivery places.

4

PuckSR t1_j8pz12o wrote

I’ve eaten some absolutely disgusting stuff in my life. My mother literally lacks a normal sense of taste. She cannot tell if something is spicy or sweet. She makes meatloaf by mixing oats and ground beef and then baking it for 5 hours at 400 degrees(that isn’t an exaggeration). There is no seasoning and it is the driest and nastiest thing you’ve ever tried to eat(she believes if you cook something longer it tastes better).

Dominos pizza isn’t the best pizza, but after some of the disgusting things I’ve eaten in my life, it is an absolute joy. It’s bread with cheese and tomato sauce on it. It isn’t stale bread. It isn’t moldy bread. It’s just cheap bread. Calm down

1

Jrj84105 t1_j8pyvgw wrote

That tracks. My line was wealthy and very prominent until the Yankee-Pennamite War. Charles II deeded the Susquehanna river region- the Wyoming Valley- to both New York and Willam Penn.

My ancestors were imprisoned and all their property taken by the Pennamites. They were left homeless and penniless an had the life skills of essentially being rich people.

Generations later they were still blaming their misfortune on “those damn Pennamite bastards”. They basically Forzt Gumped their way through American history from Martha’s Vineyard to the Sutter’s Mill being tangential side characters in lots of American history.

2

Athomas16 t1_j8pytia wrote

It was only when the booming voice of the Sergeant-at-Arms rang out declaiming the surprising order for each and every member of the firing squad to shoot the Sergeant-at-Arms himself and then turn their rifles on each other, an order assiduously followed by the well-trained soldiers, that the cigarette-smoking, blindfolded Gerry Corker truly appreciated the seemingly endless hours his mother had denied him on the baseball field during his lonely childhood, instead sending him every afternoon to Crazy Barney’s School of Mimicry and Ventriloquism.

John Shafer, Tonbridge, Kent, UK

131

dlbpeon t1_j8pxgi5 wrote

8

vixous t1_j8px8hb wrote

There’s also the Lyttle Lytton contest, where there’s the same prompt but a 25 word limit, which makes them funnier in my opinion. For example:

>Madison was a shy, awkward, inwardly beautiful teenaged girl just like you.

Or this:

>”Schlormp” went the knife as she plunged it into my heart, breaking it not only physically, but also emotionally, since I loved her.

They also have a found in the wild category, for other lines that would work for this but someone actually wrote somewhere:

> Her skin was pale, like a pale ale… but her hair was amber, like an amber ale.

41