Submitted by life_on_my_terms t3_yq6y5d in wallstreetbets

Hi guys, allow me to share my story.

I'm 37. Asian male. Single. Ex-SWE

During the peak of the 2021, I became a millionaire. I went all in with my 300k on TSLA in beginning of 2020, and it ended up shoot up to 1.5mil at the peak. Overnight, I became a millionaire without doing much other than clicking a few things in my browser. That gave me confidence. That gave me thinking that I am the shit. I quit my job since I actually never liked SWE, and said I'm gonna do my on thing. I started dabbling in C and put majority of my winnings there.

Then it dropped by 60% during the recent crashes. I still had around 400k in C, and I basically stopped trading at a point and put all of that into USDC. Only that it was all in FTX and now I can't draw them out.

I don't know what's gonna happen, but right now I'm sitting at 10k liquid in my bank. I thought I was a confidence millionaire, and all the sudden things went upside down.

This is scary. All the sudden, things just went to 0. Everything I had worked for suddenly came crumbling down.

So I went from being a confident millionaire to a terrified crybaby. I don't know what's gonna happen, but this is where I am now.

Everything -- gone, just like that.

I wanna say im fine, but its slowly settling in on me.

But someone dawned on me. A realization. An epiphany.

The way I had been going with my life is entirely backwards. I viewed money as important, but in the end it isn't. When I became a millionaire, I thought it'd be world changing. It isn't. I wasn't any different, but having the lottery money gave me some confidence, and I ran with it. But now, gone with the crashes of 2022. I'm now jobless, savingless, and the prospects for finding a SWE job seems daunting amongst layoffs.

It just showed me how wrong I've been living life. Completely backwards. I never liked SWE and just did it for the money. With that money I invested into stocks and C, and did well. With that money, I upgrade my life, my tastes, etc. But deep down I wasn't happy nor fulfilled.

This all made me realize that I've been building my life on sand, and it's all been an illusion. Money, better life, upgrades, all these external things are just an illusion. Why was I chasing after all these? How did I end up in this mess?

And, for the first time in a long time, I prayed. Surrendering myself, and prayed.

And strangely enough, I don't feel so bad anymore.

All these external things -- chasing after money, luxury, materialism -- really don't mean much anymore. These are the wrong metrics to evaluate my life. And letting these go, freed me from the weight of thinking about them.

From now, the metric I go by is how much I am helping others with my heart and skills. Doing this really makes me feel fulfilled.

I have recently been dabbling with creators, and I completed a writing cohort and I've been helping out here and there. I feel very alive and fulfilled doing so.

So now I want to measure myself by how much I am helping others, building the social credit or goodwill, as the currency. I am going to give more than I take. I'm letting go of the obsession w/ money, and instead of focusing on helping ppl with my unique talents.

I am not scared of my future, because I know this new path is a more fulfilling one to embark on.

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If you are impacted by these market meltdowns, i hope this message finds you and may be of help for you. These are true tests to see who you really are

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Update 1 --a) I'm getting a lot of DMs from ppl who reached out and gave me a lot of supportive and positivity. I am truly grateful for you guys in times like this. My faith in humanity is truly restored. 1 redditor actually took me out in NYC and bought me dinner. Thank You.

b) as much as how bad this event is, I'm actually am ok. I do have some savings left to keep me afloat for while, and I have family and friends who can support me in different ways. Also, I am actually working a side project that I am very passionate about -- have been working on it for a few months, and it definitely takes my mind off of all this craziness. This just showed me that working on what i'm passionate about and trying to build a biz out of it is more fulfilling, and all the degen speculations don't mean much to me.

c) What's done is done, theres no point in ruminating about it so all we can do is to move on. Of course getting swept by these tsunami sucks, and it's really out of my control and I dont know how the future is going to play out. So I'm just gonna completely move on and focus on my project.

d) in times like this, we all can be better and support each other. Some of you redditors gave me support + positivity that I couldn't get in real life, so thank you.

e) SBF and these crooks destroyed our trust and faith in humanity, But lets not let that define us. Let's restore faith in humanity together and make a comeback together.

f) I admit i suck at all these trading/investing/speculating things -- it's too complicated and I don't have the passion to study/master it like some the guys here in WSB. So admit I got lucky w/ TSLA and am retarded w/ how I am managing my portfolio. Better to work on things I care about and can get gud at.

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Update 2: If anyone cares, I'm going to write about my exp w/ FTX and how I am dealing with it. If you are interested, you can follow my newsletter here where i'm writing about my explorations

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