I also really appreciate the life plan idea, I’m going to definitely try with this

I totally understand not everyone wants a career, but he’s currently holding what he describes as unfulfilling jobs. He’s says he comfortable in it, but wants more, but knows he has no options of moving up in positions there. This where we have discussed careers to make him feel better about himself because he says he doesn’t like these jobs and feels shitty telling people what he does for work. His last job was at a gas station where he was extremely depressed, he enjoys smoking so I recommended possibly something in that department. That lead to the dispensary job (after he got fired from gas station), and he said it helped his confidence so much and he really enjoys it but wants something more fulfilling.

This doesn’t have as much to do with the financial aspect, but more so, me wanting him to not be so codependent on me as that’s not healthy either. We have discussed what we both want (better living situation, no kids, and to travel in time). If he didn’t want this life then I by no means would put that on him, it just would mean we are incompatible. But if he keeps telling me he wants the same things that I do, and I try to work on that with him in circles, what does that mean?? If we wanted children, I would totally understand that and I don’t have a problem with role reversal. We however don’t want children and just want to get through life comfortably together, but I can’t be working 3 jobs for something we both want.

To touch on the therapy, he told me he really liked therapy with him and wanted to book more appointments but hasn’t. From what I was told from my boyfriend, the therapist was so concerned about his past family trauma that he had to bend some rules to get him further help and medication (my boyfriend doesn’t have insurance). The therapist even checked in with him a couple of times due to his concern and really recommended further sessions and gave other options (including holistic if he was interested). My boyfriend acknowledges this but still thinks he can solve this without it even though I have recommended and talked about different therapy options. He just doesn’t seem to want to do anything until I get to my breaking point.

As for friends, I go to trivia night weekly with him and his friends because he doesn’t like to go alone. I also have tried recommending different things that align with our interests but he shrugs it off because he feels he’s socially awkward. His friends would constantly reach out and he wouldn’t answer them because he wanted to be at home with me, this lead to them not trying as hard. When we hang out with different people he becomes very reserved and sometimes even grumpy and he will usually ask to leave early. I constantly tell him how important friendship and social interaction is and am very sympathetic about everything.

And his loving qualities mean absolutely everything to me. I have held his hand through everything, but sometimes I feel like I personally enable him to be so codependent on me. This makes me feel like I’m the one hurting him in the long run. I cry constantly about ending things because of his other great qualities. But if he’s not motivated to get help, try for a better career when he’s expressed that he wants that, and not hang out with people regardless of how hard I try to integrate it.. what more can I do? I’m driving myself crazy but I am so in love with him that I don’t want to simply “just let things go because of a career”.

Thank you, that’s something I really needed to hear. The money isn’t the problem at the end of the day, I’ve just learned from this relationship that goals and being driven is something very attractive to me and it’s a quality I believe my partner must have. Even though 6 years together is insanely hard to finally call it quits on, it may be time.