CandiBunnii
CandiBunnii t1_itygf5b wrote
Reply to comment by FacelessArtifact in I couldn’t believe what my boss asked me to do on my first day by genuinelygrim
I'm sure you'll be alright
Don't stress. You'll get all tough and stringy.
CandiBunnii t1_itqmihs wrote
I mean, as shitty as this sounds, you can get another girlfriend but you can't get another you.
You might have a chance to work out a deal with that little fucker next Halloween. Try trading Kirby and some other asshole.
Two souls for one is a pretty good deal.
This is why I don't like kids, always making a mess and sentencing people to eternal damnation, causing moral quandaries and what not.
CandiBunnii t1_ito43rm wrote
Reply to comment by hornymsoniac in AM Radio Stations Shouldn’t Exist Anymore. by WorldAwayTweedy
Why yes of course you can come over for a drink. This is Steve, he's my coworker who listens to music without headphones and warms up fish in the communal microwave. I'm sure you guys will get along great
Two birds, one stone. Netflix and kill
CandiBunnii t1_ito2re5 wrote
Reply to comment by MailMan2442 in AM Radio Stations Shouldn’t Exist Anymore. by WorldAwayTweedy
Video killed the radio vampire, and this kid just goes ahead resurrecting him all willy nilly
CandiBunnii t1_itnuaru wrote
Reply to comment by thanksig in I see the same woman in all the burning buildings by scarymaxx
Real smokeshow, that one
CandiBunnii t1_itjrc1u wrote
Reply to comment by _embr in I love my wife, which is why I’m about to die by ByfelsDisciple
"Thinner...thinner... Nope too thin."
CandiBunnii t1_ith9k0e wrote
Reply to comment by Ok_Relative_5180 in The Friendly Little Hamster by HeadOfSpectre
I'm not saying ignore them entirely, but they're not the sort of pet that likes constant cuddling and handling. There's some great examples on r/Hamsters of enclosures that simulate their natural environment and gives them tons of space to run and dig
CandiBunnii t1_ith3i1d wrote
Reply to comment by Sondibgood in The Friendly Little Hamster by HeadOfSpectre
I'm only now finding out as an adult that hamsters (those especially) are more "look at" pets. Give them a nice enclosure and some enrichment, but leave the little fucks alone
They are friend shaped but they are not friends
CandiBunnii t1_itgxp8c wrote
Reply to comment by KeeperofAmmut7 in The Friendly Little Hamster by HeadOfSpectre
Ugh yes! I had 11 of them at one point (I was a kid and I thought the boy and girl were lonely)
There was maybe two who weren't out for blood, and they were indifferent to my existence at best.
Its like their evil is concentrated according to their size
CandiBunnii t1_itfy9ix wrote
Reply to The Friendly Little Hamster by HeadOfSpectre
As much as I love fluffy little rodents, I don't fuck with hamsters because those little bastards don't have souls.
I don't trust animals that eat their babies out of pure spite.
Never been intentionally bit by a rat but I've had to fling a hamster to detach it from my hand on more than one occasion.
This wasn't an evil hamster. That was just a perfectly normal hamster with factory standard levels of evil.
CandiBunnii t1_itf2t6w wrote
Reply to comment by Wishiwashome in I love my wife, which is why I’m about to die by ByfelsDisciple
Always a delight to see yours!
True, yknow this seems awfully premeditated to be a crime of passion or a heat of the moment thing. I think this storm has been brewing for awhile, she likely has her reasons for wanting him dead.
OP appears to be a bit of an unreliable narrator, is he a perfectly innocent Cinnamonroll who can do no wrong?
Or is he a massive pain in the ass who has worn Alyssa's seemingly infinite patience thin?
Either way, I have a feeling she's gonna roll up to his funeral in her best Formal Lululemon attire and dripping in the most luxurious Blood Milk Jewelry money can buy.
Gotta admire a strong female lead
CandiBunnii t1_itckdq0 wrote
Reply to comment by ThaiJr in My three-week-old daughter started talking, and it’s scaring the shit out of me by ByfelsDisciple
The murder may also have been caused by the post partum issues
Or she just felt stabby. Mondays, Right?
CandiBunnii t1_itcjiyc wrote
Reply to comment by flinty_hippie in I love my wife, which is why I’m about to die by ByfelsDisciple
Yknow whenever someone describes their SO as "perfect" or "the love of my life" it always makes me wonder if the SO feels the same way about them.
What are you bringing to the table, OP?
CandiBunnii t1_itce04v wrote
My dude. You should have constructed the most difficult, convoluted grocery list of all time.
Bananas, a bunch of 5 with 2 unripe
Grapes, but with none loose in the bottom of the bag
Deli meat, freshly sliced to half the width of a finger nail and only complete perfect slices
Swiss cheese, each slice may only have 6 holes
1,913 organic coffee beans
Rachel Ray Nutrish refrigerated dog food (only If you don't actually have a dog)
Would have bought you enough time to get the absolute fuck out of there.
If you kill her there isn't enough proof it was self defense. You could have orchestrated the poop pictures, you clearly know her password so you could have searched those things yourself.
Welp, if she's never hurt a fly then you better start buzzing.
CandiBunnii t1_itaccz6 wrote
Reply to comment by HappyTurtleButt in Skin Deep by Ellie_The_Mermaid129
It was the greatest achievement of my life, thank you 💖
CandiBunnii t1_ita5tlh wrote
Reply to comment by Ultiverse123 in I’m a marine biologist. While exploring a 'hidden beach' off the Southern coast of Thailand, we uncovered a lifeform unlike anything else on earth... by lightingnations
Infinite poop loop
CandiBunnii t1_it7gbu6 wrote
Reply to I’m a marine biologist. While exploring a 'hidden beach' off the Southern coast of Thailand, we uncovered a lifeform unlike anything else on earth... by lightingnations
Wow, that is an awfully convenient outcome!
Remind me not to go on a vacation with you.
I'm not quite sure what that creature was, however I am relatively confident you escaped through its butthole
CandiBunnii t1_it42dpu wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in People keep flashing their high beams at me by BlairDaniels
I know it's more likely a human or something they could just shoot but the thought of a gremlin being arrested and booked is absolutely hilarious.
CandiBunnii t1_it13tkl wrote
Reply to comment by C_Olaf in My husband vanished, but forgot to clear his laptop. by [deleted]
That was the first one. But yes this one had the same problem. Wasn't technically anything scary other than the doppelganger having a too-wide spooky smile. Was still a nice story though
CandiBunnii t1_iszqzd2 wrote
Reply to comment by Surrealian in Skin Deep by Ellie_The_Mermaid129
I dunno, sounds kind of shittea
CandiBunnii t1_isly2qt wrote
Reply to comment by ManOfEating in The dogs haven't stopped barking since 11pm. It's currently 4 am. by Nerdy_Athlete_E
It is apparently not the sub for this lol.
Removed for lack of horror, technically nothing bad happened as a result. If they would have had a confrontation at the end or something it probably would have been fine.
Wasn't a bad story or anything though
CandiBunnii t1_isktv4z wrote
Reply to comment by bamboozled_swag2 in The dogs haven't stopped barking since 11pm. It's currently 4 am. by Nerdy_Athlete_E
Looking directly at it seems to have gotten its attention, and not in a good way.
You should probably go see what that dog is barking about...
CandiBunnii t1_iskr6v6 wrote
It took you this long to realize something was wrong?!
Find a safe spot, like a basement or a closet, ideally something with a lock. Bring a weapon if possible and call 911.
I have a feeling you shouldn't have looked at The Person in The Street.
CandiBunnii t1_isg380i wrote
Reply to comment by Thomascrane222 in On a hunting trip with my Grandad, deep in the forest, we made a haunting discovery. There's something wrong with the animals. by Darkly_Gathers
Send the floridians with semi-automatic alligators
CandiBunnii t1_iu8hp9j wrote
Reply to comment by niero_d20 in I inherited a banana tree. Cutting it down was my greatest regret. by SimbaTheSavage8
Treehuggers: Broke
Treefuckers: Woke