CandiBunnii

CandiBunnii t1_itqmihs wrote

I mean, as shitty as this sounds, you can get another girlfriend but you can't get another you.

You might have a chance to work out a deal with that little fucker next Halloween. Try trading Kirby and some other asshole.

Two souls for one is a pretty good deal.

This is why I don't like kids, always making a mess and sentencing people to eternal damnation, causing moral quandaries and what not.

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CandiBunnii t1_ith9k0e wrote

I'm not saying ignore them entirely, but they're not the sort of pet that likes constant cuddling and handling. There's some great examples on r/Hamsters of enclosures that simulate their natural environment and gives them tons of space to run and dig

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CandiBunnii t1_ith3i1d wrote

I'm only now finding out as an adult that hamsters (those especially) are more "look at" pets. Give them a nice enclosure and some enrichment, but leave the little fucks alone

They are friend shaped but they are not friends

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CandiBunnii t1_itgxp8c wrote

Ugh yes! I had 11 of them at one point (I was a kid and I thought the boy and girl were lonely)

There was maybe two who weren't out for blood, and they were indifferent to my existence at best.

Its like their evil is concentrated according to their size

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CandiBunnii t1_itfy9ix wrote

As much as I love fluffy little rodents, I don't fuck with hamsters because those little bastards don't have souls.

I don't trust animals that eat their babies out of pure spite.

Never been intentionally bit by a rat but I've had to fling a hamster to detach it from my hand on more than one occasion.

This wasn't an evil hamster. That was just a perfectly normal hamster with factory standard levels of evil.

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CandiBunnii t1_itf2t6w wrote

Always a delight to see yours!

True, yknow this seems awfully premeditated to be a crime of passion or a heat of the moment thing. I think this storm has been brewing for awhile, she likely has her reasons for wanting him dead.

OP appears to be a bit of an unreliable narrator, is he a perfectly innocent Cinnamonroll who can do no wrong?

Or is he a massive pain in the ass who has worn Alyssa's seemingly infinite patience thin?

Either way, I have a feeling she's gonna roll up to his funeral in her best Formal Lululemon attire and dripping in the most luxurious Blood Milk Jewelry money can buy.

Gotta admire a strong female lead

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CandiBunnii t1_itce04v wrote

My dude. You should have constructed the most difficult, convoluted grocery list of all time.

Bananas, a bunch of 5 with 2 unripe

Grapes, but with none loose in the bottom of the bag

Deli meat, freshly sliced to half the width of a finger nail and only complete perfect slices

Swiss cheese, each slice may only have 6 holes

1,913 organic coffee beans

Rachel Ray Nutrish refrigerated dog food (only If you don't actually have a dog)

Would have bought you enough time to get the absolute fuck out of there.

If you kill her there isn't enough proof it was self defense. You could have orchestrated the poop pictures, you clearly know her password so you could have searched those things yourself.

Welp, if she's never hurt a fly then you better start buzzing.

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