CandiBunnii

CandiBunnii t1_ivokseg wrote

Reply to If A Mirror Tries to Talk to You, Don't Listen by maximumpowers69

I mean... If you end up somewhere between the two it should balance out, right?

Between 10 and 3 is 6.5, which I'll round up to 7 because personality plays a factor.

I'd say a solid 7 ain't too bad.

Kidding. Really though, what you see in the mirror every day is not what those around you see. We tend to focus on every imperfection and the things we would like to change instead of recognizing the beauty we already have.

Your unique features make you, you.

And fuck mirror-you. Bitch needs to eat Windex.

Does make me wonder what happened to the previous owners. Did they die, or give in to the mirror's temptations?

I could see it showing someone elderly themselves full of youth and vigor again, no more aching joints and children that don't visit, reunited with their spouse...

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CandiBunnii t1_ivofm2v wrote

Reply to Fuck around and find out by WeirdBryceGuy

Man I really hope if/when extraterrestrials find us and inevitably decide to attempt to enslave and/or exterminate us all that they'll have a similarly low tolerance for sudden acute lead poisoning.

I mean, assuming they don't have near magical technology, upon inspecion from light years away they'd be seeing the planet as it was ages ago.

If they see us at all, they would be certainly not see us as we are now with all our fancy weapons and absurd amount of highly armed civillians; but as we were then, with something more akin to sticks and particularly sharp rocks.

They might be woefully under-prepared. No one brings nuclear weapons to put down a rabid squirrel, why would they send their finest defenses for a silly little planet that is still throwing stones?

Hell, I'm sure one dude in Texas could take on their entire armada just from the guns stashed in the kitchen.

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CandiBunnii t1_ivgbn6z wrote

Reply to I hit something three years ago by DressPowerful

Yeah there's no way the dude teaching you to drive didnt see the kid.

Maybe if you were going down a very steep hill?

Even then, his job is literally to pay attention to the road and your driving.

Shouldn't be too hard to find his name.

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CandiBunnii t1_iv97suq wrote

Reply to I found a note that I don’t remember writing. by BlairDaniels

I mean, you gotta deal with this eventually.

The attempted poisoning story is feasible but hiding the corpse makes you look pretty guilty.

I'm not usually one for altering a crime scene but you might want to either put him in a better spot (forensics will still likely find his DNA under the bed) or try to hide the body (not in your house) and play dumb.

As his SO you'll likely be a suspect especially If they find traces of that powder in your kitchen as well as in his system.

Call 911, but may want to run everything through a lawyer so you don't slip up and catch a murder charge.

This seems pretty cut and dry but you know how inept or willingly misleading police can be.

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CandiBunnii t1_iv2xrtw wrote

Reply to I think my boss is taking his anger out on our guests by willisaugusto

Girl, I know this doesn't help you now but missing people + smell of death = do not investigate and call the cops. Better to be embarrassed over a dead squirrel than the situation you're in now. This seems pretty cut and dry so the odds of you being a suspect are quite low.

I don't know how useful your small town cops are (they can go from absolutely useless to tripping over themselves for the opportunity to get to literally anything for once) but you should call the emergency line and say you're being followed, by who, what you just found, and your location.

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CandiBunnii t1_iuiczbw wrote

Reply to comment by 1MoreTiredTeacher in Every year for Halloween, my house is the best decorated on the street, by far. It isn’t even close. by Darkly_Gathers

OP seems to be a woman, and after being picked on for years during Halloween by the other girls may subconsciously (or consciously) be taking it out on young girls.

Probably something she should discuss with a therapist. It's not fair to discriminate when it comes to your victims.

Those boys had perfectly good heads and could at least have been made into pies.

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CandiBunnii t1_iuicb0s wrote

Reply to comment by 1MoreTiredTeacher in Every year for Halloween, my house is the best decorated on the street, by far. It isn’t even close. by Darkly_Gathers

The TV did say the murders occurred in OP's old home town, he's presumably plucking his preferred pumpkins from the previous precinct to prevent the probability of them being properly identified.

It's 2022, Halloween decorations are getting more gory, realistic and ambitious. I'm sure even if someone had an inkling of "Hey... This seems a little too real", they would just dismiss it as impressive special effects.

No one ever questions why my headstone decorations are up year round, or why there's more each year.

Spirit of the holiday and all that.

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