I think depression along with potential unresolved issues from his past is playing a big role here especially with the mention of how the therapist was fixated on past family trauma. But you can only extend so many olive branches, if he refuses to grab on and continue therapy, then I believe some hard lines need to be drawn.

Does he fully understand how this whole situation is affecting you? If not, then you should make that clear to him. If it's gotten to the point that you're considering breaking up, he needs to fully understand that. If you do break up, it shouldn't come without prior notice, he should fully understand why you're breaking up before you choose to do it.

But before that, get him to write up a life plan and emphasize the areas of his life that need improvement. Based on what you've said, he needs to go to therapy (I would prioritize this above other things), he needs to build and maintain a proper social life, and he needs to make a clear effort to pursue some type of work that he likes doing and could see himself doing into the future.

Obviously, these things don't improve overnight, but if he develops a clear plan for where he wants to be and for improving these areas, and he makes a committed and sustained effort towards that plan, then that would be huge progress.

The way this affects you and your relationship with him should be emphasized, this isn't just about him being stuck in a rut, its about the future of your relationship. I normally hate ultimatums, I think they're unfair and usually unnecessary. However, if he doesn't make a committed effort in these areas, then he needs to understand that this relationship cannot last. As harsh as it may sound, if it comes to it after trying everything else, even if it's your decision, it's not you ending the relationship, it's him (assuming he fully understands what's at stake).

As far as the life plan idea, give him some time to fully flesh out his thoughts and to research what he wants. Don't let him take too long though, you don't want him slacking with this as well. You can also probably go on YouTube and learn about how to write a life plan and what it entails. You may want to write one yourself too so you both can compare notes and see how compatible you are into the future.

>I have been begging him for over 3 years now to start thinking about real career options and possibly looking into trades or degrees, but he always seems to start and never finish the process.
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>I have also sat down and mapped out the process for what he can do and have offered any help he may need, and still nothing.

Not everyone wants a career and there's nothing wrong with that. It sounds like you're projecting your own ideas about life and success onto him. You could try having him write out his own life plan (you can google the term to find formalized exercises). This basically involves someone describing in so many words where they'd like to be 5 or 10 years down the line and then they describe what they would need to do to get to that point. This is a personal exercise, it's something you need to point him towards and have him do it himself. Having a clear vision like this helps to actualize your goals.

If it turns out that he's comfortable not pursuing a career, then fine, there's nothing wrong with that. If this is the case, then the onus is on you to decide whether you want to be with someone who isn't career driven (like most other people).

Also, have you considered having children? If he doesn't want to pursue a career, then he might be a good stay-at-home parent (in the future). This may be far more in-line with his own personal life plan than pursuing a career. There are many ways to define "success" in life, pursuing a career is one way among many, starting a family and caring for your children is another way.

>He does struggle with depression but I pushed him to try therapy which he did once, got medicated, and never took them or went back.

The first thing I thought of when reading your post was depression. This is the first concern on my mind, and it sounds like he may have had a bad experience with therapy in this instance. I believe this is still worth pursuing. He might want to try again with a better therapist who doesn't just label you, prescribe something, and then move on. Preferably, you want to find someone who understands the unique issues facing men today because what you're describing with your BF is common today among men his age.

>He is quite introverted and likes to sit at home and smoke weed. It’s hard for him to make friends because not many people/his friends want to do that all the time. I try telling him to go out and try new things with his friends but he never makes the effort.

Have you ever attempted to make the process of getting out and meeting people easier for him? Have done anything about this other than tell him to do go out? With introverts, you can't just tell them to go out and meet people, you sometimes have to smooth out the process for them and actually encourage them rather than demand them. You should also emphasize the benefits to him for doing this, not just point out how you personally don't like it.

Here's one idea. How about you both try a new hobby and go out to find clubs/groups about that hobby together? You can both potentially meet new people that way and it would be easier for him with you being there. Once he becomes accustomed to socializing more, he may then want to go out on his own. Again, you sometimes have to smooth out the process of socializing for people who are introverted.

>He always cooks for us, cleans when things get stressed on my end, and makes me feel very loved. I also have never worried about if he has eyes for anyone else, he makes me feel very confident and loved which I fear I’ll never find again. We also are so comfy with each other which is beautiful.
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>I’m just at the point where I don’t know whether to let it go for good. I’m worried that my boyfriend is holding me back from meeting my husband and what I really need from someone.

Here's one thing worth thinking about. If it turns out that he's simply not a career driven person (like most other people), then are you really going to throw away this love just to find someone who's career driven? Is a career driven person really that valuable to you? A better thing to think about is why you're so hung up on finding someone who's driven to pursue the same types of success that you are. This is puzzling to me because most men wouldn't consider breaking up in the situation you're describing with the genders reversed, in fact, they'd be perfectly fine with it.