You’ve been so patient with all of my ranting. Thanks for actually breaking that down for me. What you’re saying does make sense. 🥲

In my head I keep rationalising it as compromises everybody has to make. They don’t come from a well off family. So it’s not like there’s any backup.

It started with oh dial down on the expectations you have for this sort of a wedding and that sort of a home or this kind of jewellery. (This is what I’ve grown up with and while it never was a MUST,it is to an extent how I wanted my life to be)

Now that it’s all coming down to money I feel like crap. We don’t see money and get married cuz there’s something called love and emotions and trust and understanding that’s all important. How have I finally gotten all that only to start from ground0 because they’re not wealthy and he’s so bad with money. 😭

I need somebody to tell me if these are major red flags or they sort eventually. Like maybe a phase. 🥲

Fair answer would be no. I wouldn’t run my business in negatives but I know a lot of startups do and that’s one way to go. That said, it’s putting me in a space to choose money or comforts vs love. I do love him. But seeing a life with him with such raging uncertainties is making me want to run the other direction. I have a bandwidth of how much uncertainty I can handle and that life breaches it many times over. 😔

He had ended up returning the money after nudges. Sometimes he puts software subscriptions on my card and when I mention it, he gets it paid from from the company accounts immediately. But it’s not consistent.

I’m terrified to be seen as this privileged bratty person I guess so I’m struggling to get myself to stop feeling guilty. I feel guilty that I feel so annoyed about this situation. He always just says things like oh well figure it out or by then I’ll draw a lakh or two for expenses. But he’s not been able to do that now only, let alone me believing about later.

It took me 2.5 years of saving and planning to get the freedom to leave my job for my small business. And being broke terrifies me. He’s talking about going into a marriage without any planning or savings and idk how to trust any of this is going to work for the better. He’s also 6 years older so I’d assume he had absolutely something planned out for his marriage.