S4njay
S4njay t1_iyc8v30 wrote
Reply to [WP] You are dead. As you hover on the intermediate plane of existence between life and death, waiting for something to happen, a loud voice echoes from above, to inform you of your options. "You may reincarnate as: a rock, a sheet of paper, or a pair of scissors. Choose wisely." by Frenchvanilla343
"Huh, I'm dead.", I thought to myself as I hovered slightly above the wreck that was once my Hyundai Tucson. While I did have a fun life and achieved everything I wanted, I didn't expect to... go out with a bang. Hehe. That's what you get for being distracted while driving.
Anyways, as they say, death is an adventure! Erm... it is, right? Right?
As I drifted away from the sight of my untimely demise, I suddenly heard a thunderous boom above me. When I looked around me, all I saw was fluffy white clouds. "So, this is heaven?", I exclaimed to no one in particular.
As I looked around, a voice from above boomed. "YOU MAY REINCARNATE AS: A ROCK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR A PAIR OF SCISSORS. CHOOSE WISELY."
"A rock, paper and scissors? Are you fucking joking?", I screamed incredulously up at the sky. This was not the post-death adventure I was expecting.
"THIS MESSAGE WAS SPONSORED BY BIG ROCK, BIG PAPER, AND BIG SCISSORS. CHOOSE WISELY.", the voice continued to drone.
"I'm a good person! Why am I here!", I continued yelling at the sky, before realising that it was rather fruitless to shout at nothing. Like, who was Big Rock supposed to be even?
Back home, I was always the undisputed king of Rock Paper Scissors. I'll even tell you a secret, all you need to remember that the average filthy casual player plays in the order of Rock, Paper, Scissors. But here, I was outclassed. And I didn't like that.
"Fine, you little shit! I choose rock!", I yelled at the being above me. What the fuck kind of choice was this even? Maybe I was hallucinating while in the hospital or dreaming this.
"YOUR INSOLENCE SHALL BE HARSHLY PUNISHED! CHOOSE WISELY!", it thundered. Why did every sentence have to end with choose wisely?
Immediately, I was turned into a bog-standard small chunk of rock. As I surveyed my roundish body, I realised that I couldn't control my movements!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!", I screamed as I hurtled through a familiar sky. As I flew further, I realised that the area was indeed familiar, with the highway I drove on everyday and the surrounding pine forest. In particular, I was moving straight towards a certain dark blue SUV car. It, too, looked familiar. But why?
Oh wait. It was my Hyundai Tucson.
The last thing I remembered as I shattered the glass windshield was my very own shocked face.
r/NightbringerWrites
S4njay t1_iybier5 wrote
Reply to My wife has started waking up in the middle of the night to fold clothes. It’s all she ever does now, she simply cannot stop. by lightingnations
I did NOT expect this series of events
S4njay t1_iy7qq0b wrote
Reply to comment by FachtnaNuadha in [WP] Every time you cooked over a campfire, you would throw some food into the fire as an offering to the gods. One evening, just as you're about to perform your little campfire ritual, you hear a voice behind you say "You know, I would very much prefer my food un-burnt." by DragoTheFloof
>AgniEats
Agni, as in the Hindu fire god?
S4njay t1_iy3bo4e wrote
S4njay t1_ixyviw5 wrote
Reply to There's a chair in my kitchen and it's driving me insane. (Part 2 / Final) by NomNomNomNation
>and it's keeping me sane
No you aren't!
S4njay t1_ixv1mr4 wrote
Can't fight the truth
S4njay t1_ixg4rek wrote
Reply to comment by ApocalypseOwl in [WP] There is a place. A place between places. It's an actual place but it isn't here nor there. Lost travelers are the only ones who can find the place. Staying for a night, safe from other places and other things, and nothing more. Except you. You were born in the place. by Horror_Librarian_133
Wow, the worldbuilding is super interesting!
S4njay t1_iwoiwjp wrote
Reply to comment by horsemachinegun in [WP] Your normal, average Isekai but the entire United States is transported to a fantasy world by horsemachinegun
Fuck, I forgot. I had exams around that time as well. If you're interested, I can continue.
S4njay t1_ivf19es wrote
Reply to [WP] Your normal, average Isekai but the entire United States is transported to a fantasy world by horsemachinegun
Annals of The Most Glorius Oh Heyean Empire, AI 1947
Dieari of His Supreme Excellency the Most Valourant First Emperur of The Ohioan Desolacy, Jason Deezkelohioa, dated AI 0 - unknown
​
Day 1:
It has been 1 month since the country got.. transported? I have no clue what it's supposed to be, though the 'weebs' call it being 'esehkaid' or something. Of course, as you'd expect, the country imploded almost immediately. Indeed, the states immediately began to jostle for power and territory of their own! Of course, I too took the opportunity to claim Sweet Home Ohio as my own! So far, this world seems quite interesting. I've had reports from the Nova Californian-Cascadian Democracy and some parts of the Holy Texan Empire that there be dragons! There are also rumours from some of the generals that the Fair Folk and orcs exist in the north, and huge serpents in the sea, though those are yet to be checked out. So far, thank God there aren't any invasions into the Desolacy! They must fear me, Long Live Ohio!
Archivist's note 1: Given our understanding of the time, it is to be noted that the 'Ohio' was left uninvaded as the area was generally avoided by the surrounding territories and even it's own former leaders.
Archivist's note 2: The dominant powers of the fleeting era were the Eastern Republic, streching from the territories of 'Mane' to 'Meriland' and ruled from a 'Niu York', the South Dakotan Confedracy occupying much of the area west of Ohio, the Nova Californian-Cascadian Democracy occupying the areas west of the South Dakotan Confedracy and the Holy Texan Empire occupying the southern parts of the former 'United States'.
​
Day 2:
Today, the geographers ventured to our former lake border and beyond and just sent word. As it turns out, Canada isn't north of us anymore, and so isn't the lake. Instead, there exists a swamp covering most of old Lake Erie, and beyond it vast steppes as far as the eye can see. They have even seen what appear to be smoke from fire pits in the distance! I have preemptively sent word to the Ohioan 2nd Militia to be stationed at what I now call the Deezlands. Damn, is communication hard without the internet! None of our tech stuff work here!
Archivist's note: Geographical records state the existence of a lake, Erie as well as a nation called Canada above Ohio.
​
Day 3: The 2nd Militia is reportedly well on its way to the Deezlands. On a worse note, I have received reports of Eastern and Texan spies infiltrating the heart of the Desolacy, as well as the harrowing observation that the South Dakotan army is marching westwards. Damn it!
​
Day 10: The Expansion Minister, my old buddy at the bar, briefed me on our progress at the Deezlands. There live orcs on my lands! As it turns out, the valley we reached is the end of the known world for the locals, and sparsely populated. The nearest kingdom is the Ntrooto (pronounced nut-roo-too or something) around 500 km north. Can't wait to meet them, that'll show them dirty Easterners! At the behest of the War Minister, another old friend, I mobilised the Ohio Black Squad for all of our, ahem, illicit activities like espionage. It is confirmed that the South Dakotan Confedracy is coming straight here, so I also created the Ohio 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th militias to steamroll the little governments out west and hopefully crush the Confedracy. Long Live Ohio!
​
(more tomorrow)
S4njay t1_iu3piet wrote
Reply to Keep your friend close and enemies even closer. by 02321
Should have offered him an ice cream!
S4njay t1_it712z8 wrote
Reply to That God Damned Knock by [deleted]
You don't have much time left.
S4njay t1_iycpy6g wrote
Reply to I can't take my contacts out by Shaconage_scribbler
Damn, his life is miserable