Waitsfornoone
Waitsfornoone t1_j68k73x wrote
Reply to comment by Oxonianelapidae70 in A young boy enters a barber shop by Bjear
... You'd have ice cream cones for the rest of your life.
Waitsfornoone t1_j68jznf wrote
Swallow.
Waitsfornoone t1_j66bj5x wrote
Reply to On the farm by Sharp-Incident-6272
Normally the BMW owner is the Dick.
Waitsfornoone t1_j66bezv wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in On the farm by Sharp-Incident-6272
Must have been a Bot to fuck this comment up.
Waitsfornoone t1_j66arkz wrote
Similar:
Why did the producer of Dirty Jobs get fired?
He was a Mike Rowe manager.
Waitsfornoone t1_j66ab9o wrote
Reply to comment by TAway69420666 in I once told someone I had a half brother by OwenJthomas89
What a pleasant thought to start your kayak journey with. Bet this old guy is a hoot at parties.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5yoy99 wrote
Reply to comment by EvilRedRobot in Wife: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas! by AralphNity
Wheat is her problem?
Waitsfornoone t1_j5vnwcg wrote
Pope Francis was just diagnosed with the bird flu.
It is thought he got it from one of the cardinals.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5vn4au wrote
Reply to Someone stole my book bag today. by Low-Airline-7588
Check your phone - there are plenty of words in there.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5vbczr wrote
Reply to comment by FactoryBuilder in Co-worker: "I love British last names," by KeckyOK
Obligation fulfilled. Well done.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5u5hss wrote
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I don’t know if I can get hard; I just got laid this morning.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5tqiqs wrote
I saw my math teacher walking into a bar holding some graph paper.
I thought, “he's plotting something”.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5tb640 wrote
You'd better win the appeal, or you'll find yourself surrounded by con seated people at your next stop.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5tanzr wrote
They both make you hide the wienie.
Waitsfornoone t1_j5qdnp9 wrote
Reply to My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... by c0dyw0dy27
You might want to re-think only "for a while."
Waitsfornoone t1_j5fb5gu wrote
Reply to Lance is an uncommon name now a days by xerxes_dandy
... and they used the lance-a-lot.
Waitsfornoone t1_j59zz7z wrote
Reply to As a doctor I often get asked why I use that rubber hammer to tap patient's knees. by Firegoat1
He sounds like a knee-jerk to me.
Waitsfornoone t1_j4nqpjz wrote
Reply to comment by enderverse87 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
I always knew it as the pickle slicer joke.
Waitsfornoone t1_j4gnq1a wrote
Reply to comment by Fetlocks_Glistening in There once was a woman named "Ninety"... by blue4029
I do not like this here or there.
I do not like this anywhere.
Waitsfornoone t1_j4g9vsk wrote
Reply to comment by AdditionalCheetah354 in I poured root beer in a square glass. by Gil-Gandel
You might want to pack a lunch.
Waitsfornoone t1_j4cg68f wrote
Hot and moist.
Waitsfornoone t1_j3oref5 wrote
Reply to I have a civil service joke to tell by whistleridge
Just stamp my form and a Ben Franklin will be warming up your pocket.
Waitsfornoone t1_j2fqyvh wrote
Waitsfornoone t1_j2fqjvg wrote
It's a fucking foot?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6981hk wrote
Reply to A woman goes to the doctor by Nl_003
If we're doing doctor's office jokes:
A woman goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, my husband is an animal in the bedroom. He wants sex five, six, seven times a day. I love the man and the sex, but it’s just too much. Can you help me?”
The doctor replied, “Well, medically, I can’t really think of anything. Theoretically, this might work. From now on, whenever he demands sex, demand money. $10 in the kitchen, $30 in the living room, $50 in the bedroom. The man isn’t made of money, that should slow him down.”
She agrees and thanks the doctor. Excited, she goes home ready to use his advice.
She starts to prepare dinner. Her husband comes home, doesn’t even ask about dinner, but immediately sneaks up behind her, brushes up against her and plays grab ass. She turns to him and says. “Honey, I have a new rule regarding sex.”
He replies, “Okay hon, shoot!” She continues, “From now on, I demand money for sex. $10 in the kitchen, $30 in the living room, $50 in the bedroom.”
He looks at her and says, “Okay, I think you deserve that, you do so much, no problem.”
He reaches for his wallet and sees he has a $50 bill in his wallet and hands it to his wife. She says, “Okay let’s go up to the bedroom.”
He shouts, “NO, FIVE TIMES IN THE KITCHEN!!!”
Not OC. https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/sa5qdp/a_woman_goes_to_the_doctor_and_says/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3