Waitsfornoone
Waitsfornoone t1_j6oddfu wrote
Reply to comment by NobodyKnowsMeOutHere in A rapist and a therapist are prime suspects in a case. Who went to jail? by weakgutteddog27
Not always; it depends on the shared circumstances.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6ll0qm wrote
Reply to With the rise of self-driving vehicles, by [deleted]
... and with further advances in AI, the truck would ultimately write a song about the driver leaving the truck.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6kl2xj wrote
Based on a various movie depictions - skin color (Yellow? Seriously?).
Waitsfornoone t1_j6kkiho wrote
Spilled what?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6kkdf1 wrote
Reply to The teacher looked disappointed, as she handed back my F-marked exam sheet. by awesome_smokey
Your future career path in three words: Parking valet.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6j74g3 wrote
Without any light, especially black light, how will you ever know just how disgusting that bed and mattress really is?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6j21r7 wrote
Reply to A man goes to a doctor .. by Nervous_Cranberry196
OK, wasn't sure where the first roll went .. got it now!
Waitsfornoone t1_j6gf7oh wrote
It was!
Waitsfornoone t1_j6gew3h wrote
Reply to A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money.” The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said: “You cannot do this, I’m a United States congressman!” by Jackrwood
... at least, that's the last thing the thief remembers.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6e6gq9 wrote
This joke is rotten - everybody knows apples are just overpriced electronic devices.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6e56kf wrote
Reply to A Winnipeg man dies and goes to hell. by J_S_M_K
Wow! It's not he Detroit Lions anymore?
Things must be getting better in the D.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6dby7k wrote
My grandfather always used to say: “As one door closes, another one opens.”
I loved that man, but he was a terrible cabinet maker.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6d87en wrote
Reply to comment by Waitsfornoone in This man went out with the boys, and told his wife that he would be home by midnight. by Jackrwood
?? This gets downvoted for pointing out that the above comment was made by a Bot? Is it that the Bots have now unionized, or that Redditors don't like their bots being dissed?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6d7ses wrote
Reply to comment by Translationerr0r in My disabled girlfriend broke up with me a week ago. by Substantial_Web_3924
Or just so unfortunate as to keep dating jerks who steal her wheelchair?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6c50h5 wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in This man went out with the boys, and told his wife that he would be home by midnight. by Jackrwood
Another Bot that needs to grow up a bit.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6bkq7h wrote
Reply to comment by norflipi in My disabled girlfriend broke up with me a week ago. by Substantial_Web_3924
... after month, after month.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6bkgjb wrote
Reply to Wayne Gretzky is going down on his wife, she cums all over his face and says messy eh? by Soleserious
What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love?
Wayne Gretzky showers after three periods.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6bk2yu wrote
Reply to comment by Prestigious-Help299 in Wayne Gretzky is going down on his wife, she cums all over his face and says messy eh? by Soleserious
Bad baby bot.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6bjws1 wrote
Reply to comment by Sordidlydictate238 in what is the difference between people in Dubai and Abu dhabi? by olegkaplun
It is. Otherwise, it wouldn't be reposted every month or so.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6b08hp wrote
Reply to How is studying similar to masturbating? by santobaloto
Appro of nothing ...
This joke sent me off on a trail of jokes on reddit, until I ran across one of the all-time classic r/TIFU posts. The guy posts that he has sex to the rhythm of songs, and his GF asked him to stop playing his favorite song to have sex with. the post had over 180K votes.
Why? Because it's one the most asinine song you could imagine trying to make love with.
I haven't stopped laughing, and when my wife called out from the other room" "What is that shit music you're paying?" I really lost it.
Go ahead - You can thank me later.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6awbpe wrote
Reply to I've been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac by CrankLeaf
But clearly not taking a joke ...
Waitsfornoone t1_j6ao8ga wrote
Why not? That car NEVER refuses Anal.
Waitsfornoone t1_j6a55q3 wrote
So if someone took 60%, would that make you a co-owner?
Waitsfornoone t1_j698coe wrote
Still using toilet paper, huh?
Waitsfornoone t1_j6p6oa7 wrote
Reply to Why say you swallow cum? by PuffedRabbit
I thought OP was heading for this old classic:
A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success." The man, always eager to get ahead in life, chooses to climb the ladder.
The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success." This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, "come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success."
​
The man can't believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him, but a fat, balding, sweaty man instead.
"Are you God?" the man asks. "No," the sweaty man replies. "I'm Cess."
H/T u/68024
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1k2evn/the_ladder_to_success/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3