sammyrangel__

sammyrangel__ OP t1_j5zu4k5 wrote

Reply to comment by bdevzzz in I'm the Co-Founder of "Life After Hate" A Nonprofit Founded by former extremists who are committed to helping people leave the violent far-right, and lead compassionate lives. My Name is Sammy Rangel. IAMA! by sammyrangel__

I still know people in that life. I would not say I am friends with them as much as I remain a compass pointing to the way out. I personally have distanced myself from the people, places and things that I use to be a part of. I go back into those places to be of service. I encourage a few of them to consider an other alternative. I started a 12 Step group for men and women trying to leave street life and a life of hate.

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sammyrangel__ OP t1_j5zt9te wrote

Reply to comment by Critical_Wish2185 in I'm the Co-Founder of "Life After Hate" A Nonprofit Founded by former extremists who are committed to helping people leave the violent far-right, and lead compassionate lives. My Name is Sammy Rangel. IAMA! by sammyrangel__

I am working in a space helping others think about whether or not they are willing to close the distance between people in your world. Essentially, We are encouraging people to recognize that differences are never the reason we are so far apart, but rather the boxes we put others in, or lines we draw, that do not exist but only in our own minds. I love helping people and making things better.

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sammyrangel__ OP t1_j5zqo95 wrote

Reply to comment by Critical_Wish2185 in I'm the Co-Founder of "Life After Hate" A Nonprofit Founded by former extremists who are committed to helping people leave the violent far-right, and lead compassionate lives. My Name is Sammy Rangel. IAMA! by sammyrangel__

First and foremost is understand for yourself that you may not be able to change what is happening in real time but can begin to plant the seeds that will foster change later.

Lead with being a good listener. What I have found in my experience talking with many individuals struggling with this is that they have grievances, they have a sense of not being heard, therefore not understood, therefore not ever validated in their own experiences.

Listening can lead to a sense of being heard which will strike them as different. Enough to perhaps stay involved in the convo or to at least think about it later.

Lead with empathic responses and approaches.

Try not to rebuttal.

Try to remain calm no matter what you are hearing.

Avoid being or sounding judgmental.

Remind them you love them unconditionally, even if you cannot support their actions, lifestyle.

Remember listening is not a sign of conceding or agreeing, but rather an indication of the worth and value you have concerning that person.

Avoid "cutting the person completely off". You can still maintain healthy boundaries and limits. There can still be accountability but think of how to apply that compassionately.

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